You know you’re a mom when…

You can’t go to the bathroom without a baby/toddler/small child either sitting on your lap, sitting on the floor of the bathroom, or sitting right outside of the bathroom door. Note that they are only outside the door because you yelled at them to just give you “ONE MINUTE ALONE!”

You think you’re lactating even though you haven’t breastfed anyone for two years. (Is this just me?)

You wipe your kid’s nose with your hand. No tissue necessary.

You say things like this:

“You’re going to fall and hurt yourself.”

“Have three more bites.”

“Don’t hit your brother.”

“If I have to say this one more time…”

“Don’t touch that please.”

“Don’t pull the cat’s tail.”

“Do I have to count to three?”

“Just go to sleep.”

You hear “I’m dooooooooooone!!!” from the bathroom just as you’re about to sit down. Every. Time.

You find yourself out for a coffee with a friend and all you can talk about are your nipples cracking and bleeding and your baby’s lack of bowel movements.

You cry watching commercials.

You happy cry when your baby is finally asleep but then consider waking him up to play, because you miss him.

You bring your baby home and you’re staring at her wondering if she’s breathing when it hits you: “What have I done?”

Your heart explodes when your baby says I love you, unprompted, for the first time.

 

What would you add to the list?

 

This post was inspired by Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop.