You know you’re a mom when…

You can’t go to the bathroom without a baby/toddler/small child either sitting on your lap, sitting on the floor of the bathroom, or sitting right outside of the bathroom door. Note that they are only outside the door because you yelled at them to just give you “ONE MINUTE ALONE!”

You think you’re lactating even though you haven’t breastfed anyone for two years. (Is this just me?)

You wipe your kid’s nose with your hand. No tissue necessary.

You say things like this:

“You’re going to fall and hurt yourself.”

“Have three more bites.”

“Don’t hit your brother.”

“If I have to say this one more time…”

“Don’t touch that please.”

“Don’t pull the cat’s tail.”

“Do I have to count to three?”

“Just go to sleep.”

You hear “I’m dooooooooooone!!!” from the bathroom just as you’re about to sit down. Every. Time.

You find yourself out for a coffee with a friend and all you can talk about are your nipples cracking and bleeding and your baby’s lack of bowel movements.

You cry watching commercials.

You happy cry when your baby is finally asleep but then consider waking him up to play, because you miss him.

You bring your baby home and you’re staring at her wondering if she’s breathing when it hits you: “What have I done?”

Your heart explodes when your baby says I love you, unprompted, for the first time.


What would you add to the list?


This post was inspired by Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop.

Mama’s Losin’ It

  • Anna

    Oh my gosh, this is a great list! I’m not sure of anything I would add, you have some of my favorites on here – “three more bites”, “Do I have to count to 3?” haha! My son is almost 4 and I have found myself telling him “We’re going to listen to music now and not ask any questions for 5 minutes now” – lol! The talking and questions never stop!  Great post and list. Stopping by from Mama Kat’s. 

    • Anonymous

      Thanks Anna! I have done this successfully a couple of times: Timer on my iPhone up on the screen, “Let’s play a game and see how long you can sit still. GO!” hahahaha Whatever it takes. :)

  • Diane@BeStillAMinute

    Yep, I’ve pretty much said them all!  I should do one about how you know you’re a mom of a teenager.  My oldest turns 13 next Month but he’s had the attitude down pat for the past year and a half!  Ugh.  

    • Anonymous

      You should do one! I’d like to read one to prepare myself. I was trying to convince my four year old to get in her car seat the other day and she said, “It’s always all about you mom.” Where has my baby gone? hahaha

  • Laurel Remington

    You say things like ‘mummy’s got to go poo poo’ in front of your partner.

    • Anonymous

      True. :) This is what life has become. 

  • Amy Gurrola

    Yes, you hit on so many of these, too funny woman!  Mine are “I got to go poopy mommy,” just as I’m about to sit down and eat or about 30 minutes when I put him down for bed, every freaking time!  Or, trying to distract your child by “Is that a bunny over there,” while you scarf down a donut so they don’t see you, and then you get, “Where Mommy, where’s the bunny?”  I also use the “let’s play who can stay quiet the longest,” when we are in the car.

    • Anonymous

      Yum. Donuts!!! ;)

  • Stefter

    I’m guilty of practically all of them.

    • Anonymous

      and more? hahaha

  • Hollow Tree Ventures

    Excellent list – I was nodding along the whole time. :)  I’d add that you find yourself deleting a lot of “mgessjm te sdrsk” because babies are better at smacking keyboards than really typing.

    • Anonymous

      Hahahahaha! Love that!

  • Loukiazigoumis

    I loved this Sandy! SO bang on!!!

    • Anonymous

      Thanks Loukia! We could go on for days right? ;)

  • Lilmaya

    I would like to add, you have not worn makeup since you left the hospital and a day is not complete until you have been spit up/pooped/peed on ….truly the list could go on and on!

  • Krista Ouidaa

    When you pick up the toys that are all over the floor, only to turn around and see them all over the floor once again. Got to love toddlers!

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