Tales from the toilet roll

Why is it that children are born with their brains already wired to learn so much, yet they really know nothing about the bathroom?  I don’t know about other people but in my house of plenty the bathroom has become a regular playroom of sorts, a place to hide away and build secret forts, the bedroom for various Barbies, little people and stuffed animals.  A lab for water experiments, and other explosive experiments I won’t discuss.  It is a reading room, an art room (who needs wall paper when you have children to smear god knows what on the walls along side their art work that wasn’t done in washable markers.) The toilets in our house have become the local pool for Polly pockets, Hot wheels, Barbies, and Planet Heroes.  My 5 year old loves to play “daddy” and “fix” the toilet.  By the time he’s done my whole bathroom has become the community pool and it is now time to play Joe the plumber.

The fact that toilet paper actually costs money has no effect on my children.  I have tried to explain to them that the cost of 10 rolls wasted, could be put towards a trip to McDonalds or some other adventure.  My talks are useless, as they still think it is okay to use toilet paper as Kleenex (even though we may well have 20 boxes of Kleenex in the hall cupboard).

Then there are the boys. Strange creatures that they are, who think it is hilarious to place toilet paper across the toilet bowl and use it as a target for…… well I am sure you get the idea.  Then there is that 5 year old of mine again who, for some reason feels the need to wipe himself after peeing.  HELLO!  You are a boy!  My two youngest seem to believe that toilet paper is really meant to be stuck to their butt, hanging down as a long tail.  Funny?  Hmmm……… not really.

I can put a new roll on the toilet paper holder and by the end of the day the roll is empty…… so the big question is where the hell does all the toilet paper go?  Do my children maybe eat it?  I wouldn’t put it past them……. on second thought maybe I don’t want to know what happens to it.

Until next time,

Momof8crazymonkeys