To Tell Or Not To Tell, That Is The Question

I know every woman is different when it comes to being able to keep her pregnancy a secret. Some can hide it with ease, others don’t want to hide it and share their news right away. For me, because of our miscarriage, I was very nervous to share my news too soon, but I also didn’t want the stress of trying to hide it like the first time around. So we decided to tell our immediate family and our best friends right away…but we didn’t tell them the news about having twins, we decided to save that for later.

I had planned on telling my boss and people at work around the 12 week mark. Key word here…PLANNED. That’s not how it panned out.

I had started getting some questioning looks at the office around the nine week mark, and even some comments in passing that made me wonder just how well I was ‘hiding’ my bump. My job requires me to carry equipment and go out and meet people in the community. While out on location, interviewing a woman whom I had never met before, I realized just how much I was actually showing. It wasn’t the extreme nausea that gave it away, nor the crazy pregnancy rash on my face, it was my bump…the bump that I thought I was hiding so well.

She said to me, “So, when are you due?” My face went white. I couldn’t believe she knew my secret! After all, I’d never met her before! I had to make a quick decision as I’m sure many mommies out there have been faced with: Do I lie and tell her I’m not expecting only to have her feel terrible for asking the question, or do I confess and just go with it? I opted to confess to a woman I’d never met. When I told her I was nine weeks pregnant she then said, “Are you sure you’re only having one?” I was shocked!  Was she psychic? Was it that obvious?!

I realized on the drive back to the office that if a woman I’d never met prior to that day knew my secret then it was probably time for me to confess to my boss.

Since it was a bit later in the day I made a deal with myself: If my boss was still at the office when I returned then I would take it as a sign that I should tell her, if not, I would wait.

I pulled into the parking lot and her car was still there.

I was so nervous, but very excited to finally share my news. I knew she’d take it well, but I wasn’t keen on sharing my secret so early in the pregnancy.

Needless to say, I received nothing but support from work, lightening my work load (since it involved heavy lifting) and offering me as much advice as possible. My boss had been very supportive through my miscarriage and completely understood my request to keep it quiet in the office for a couple more weeks until my husband and I felt we were ‘in the clear.’

When it comes to ‘the right time’ to share your news with others, it just comes down to what you’re most comfortable with. Every situation, workplace and boss is different. For me, I couldn’t ignore the signs that I had been given, and I decided to follow my gut like I always do.

  • SandyEl

    I think you did the right thing! Going with your gut is always best. I shared my news to my closest family members and friends, I decided that if I had a miscarriage, I would share the news with these chosen few anyway. Thanks for sharing!

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