My Baby Girl’s First Haircut

My daughter is four and had yet to cut her hair. This wasn’t really an issue, apart from the fact that the ends of her very long hair were getting dry and split so I felt that it was time for a trim.

I booked an appointment for her at a local kiddie salon. They let her sit in a pink car and gave her a lollipop as well as a pic of her new haircut, a certificate and a little baggy with some of her curls in it. It was a $26 haircut and we have memories, cheesy ones, but memories nonetheless.

I had been building up this haircut and she was really excited because I guess in her mind this is something that big girls do. She was happy to sit in the pink car and put on a little smock. What surprised me was that she wanted to cut her hair short.

I explained to her that she needed to understand that if she cut her hair short that it would take some time to grow back. She couldn’t wake up the next day and decide that she wanted it to be long again. But I also explained that that was the beauty of hair. That we can cut it short, then wait for it to grow back again and then cut it short again. It’s only hair and it grows!

She seemed to understand and she insisted on short hair. So I told the hairdresser to cut it to her shoulders.

The hairdresser cut it about shoulder length — it was originally at her shoulder blades. She looked in the mirror and said, “I want it shorter.” The hairdresser obliged, so technically, I got two haircuts for the price of one. WIN!

She was finally happy with her hair.

My baby girl looking so grown up.


Everybody was happy. She was happy, I was happy. This meant less tangles for me, and she felt like a big girl after her first salon experience.

What followed was annoying to me.

“Wow. You cut off all of her curls.” Said with a pout… This was a comment that I received from an adult who works in childcare. This was said in front of my daughter. How ridiculous is this?

“She looks so cute, but her hair was so long and beautiful!” Seriously? What year are we in?

I received quite a few of these comments, sadly from adult women, and I always tried to hold back my anger in front of my daughter and responded respectfully with:

“Yes, Alexandra wanted to get a hair cut and she is beautiful no matter what. She made a fantastic decision. Maybe she will decide to grow it long again one day. Maybe not. Either way is fine with us.”

Who cares if her curls are gone? It’s only hair. It will grow back — if she wants it to.

My daughter’s worth or beauty is not related to the length of her hair or how straight or curly it is. Women need to get over this.

We wonder why women are so quick to base their self worth on their appearance. How could they not, when all people do is tell little girls how pretty their hair is and how beautiful they look in dresses?

I’m trying my best to praise my daughter’s personality and her actions. I don’t want to focus on the length of her hair, how pretty she is or how pink her shoes are.

Thanks to everyone who gave her positive feedback and didn’t ridiculously mourn the loss of her hair.


  • Heatherhamilton

    I like to keep my boys’ hair cut buzzed short…but i have had so many comments, IN FRONT OF THEM, about keeping it long and losing the curls.  Ty got so upset last time when someone told him.  I’m glad she is making her own decisions. 

  • kinesgirl

    Thanks for your thoughts. Reminds me of this article:

  • Tannis

    She looks absolutely beautiful!!  It’s what inside that counts – dont let the others “get” to you – they are not worth the aggravation :-).

  • Guest

    I love the new hairstyle. We ran into the same thing when my 6 year old cut off all of her hair. She asked if she could donate it to kids who were sick and needed wigs so I said no problem. She cut off 14 inches of her beautiful, wavy hair into the cutest bob. I loved the new do, she loved the new do and it was for a great cause, but we had the same type of negative response, but boy did people feel bad for saying it once they found out why she did it and let me tell you she told them loud and clear why and then asked why they hadn’t done it too :)

  • Lianne’s Quick Guide

    I, other than braiding hair in the morning (lice issues at school) and trying to get out the massive tangles, try not to give any value to how their hair or clothes look. I’ve been asked whether one of my daughters (7), dresses herself. Uh yes. This, in the context of what she put together is “interesting”. Who are we to judge what our kids think looks nice? I wear boring old grays and browns and my hair is always in a pony tail – She on the other hand adds head bands, barrets and she splashes colors, mix match, you name it – and SHE loves it.  And she really does look great. My youngest (4) likes to put in as many barretts in her hair as possible. And she does, every morning…

    So – boo – on all those comments about your daughter’s hair. She looks amazing and so great that she had her own idea about it. You are doing something right!

  • Ashleyrstiers

    Awww im sorry to hear people were so crude. Really?! its just hair and she wanted it so back off is what I would have said.

  • Grey_wolves20072008

    she looks beautiful no matter what and i would do the same, if they want it short, that’s how they’ll have it…if they want to wear dresses, that’s their decision…i put boys sleepers on my girls when they we’re babies and people automatically assume they we’re all boys, and by the way i had triplets, 2 girls and a boy so cost of clothes and food is expensive but i did get a lot given to me and i bought lots of their clothes for cheap….i don’t care what they wear or how they look, they are my kids and i love them no matter what….

  • Andrea Dee

    As someone who is 31 and has short hair (and even the same headband your daughter is wearing in the picture) think that short hair is beautiful.  Long hair is too.  Whatever makes someone happy.  I have a 7 month old and her hair sticks right up in the middle like a mohawk.  I love that too.  Every girl is different and it is great like that.  I love those Dove commercials that boost self esteem rather than put us down.  

    I say way to go little one!

  • Whimis

    Kudos to your daughter for knowing what she wants and not settling for anything less. That strength and self awareness will serve her much better than long hair or curls!

  • Wendy Irene

    Thank you for sharing this important message with us!
    It reminds me that as adult women we need to stop basing our own self-worth on appearance
    so our daughters have a chance for something more. I want my daughter to know
    she is beautiful no matter what.

  • guest

    My daughter has very curly long hair ,which takes a lot of work. When we mentioned to some one about making an appointment to get it cut they said “oh no, don’t do that it is so pretty,it’s can’t be that difficult” I replied “well,I will send her over tomorrow with her comb and brush, what time is good for you??” needless to say they never made another comment about her hair…:)

  • Anon

    People can make any comment they want. Sounds like they were genuinely disappointed her curls were gone. Why are they not allowed to express that and why are you so aggressive about it? Modern mothering!

Become an
Baby Care Tips Member

for exclusive contests, articles and promotions!

Featured Bloggers

Baby Care & Parents Information - Oh Baby! Magazine Canada