Introducing a second child

Oh, my sweet dear Henry. What a lovely little lad. All alone, with mama and daddy doting over him day in and day out. His favourite babysitter, “Guy” (aka Kris) taking him to the park. Two loving doggies. As my belly swelled and we prepared for baby number two, I read a lot about gentle introduction of a sibling into a family.

My sweet sensitive mop-top, whatever will I do? I didn’t want to make him too excited as many child and parent educators suggested would make the birth very anticlimactic for the toddler. We talked sometimes about the baby in mama’s tummy. How he would come out and Henry could play with him when he got bigger. Looking back now, I see how little that sweet guy actually understood.

Because the baby was born, and my sweet little babe, who fell asleep in the shopping cart at Costco was gone. In his cherubic place, a giant 2.5 year old the size of a house, mean, defiant and, most of all, angry.

Angry at us for bringing home a squelching little baby who didn’t do anything fun, who took all mama’s attention away and who needed so much nursing. Now that Lauchie’s 14 months, I see flashes of my sweet boy, protecting his older brother, being kind and friendly.

He’s 6 months shy of four and I keep telling myself that he’ll get better after that milestone birthday. We’re just about one year off JK and things will change. But will they?

We want another baby in the next few years, and I wonder how H will react. Lauchie has never been alone and was born doomed to be a middle child, adaptable, loud and exciting. What will he do with another baby taking even more of our time? Will it matter at that point? We want a big family, and it’s up to us and nature whether that will happen – not an aggressive, pants peeing toddler.

Or is it?

  • Kat Inokai

    Now that I’m due any day I realize that I have no CLUE how V will react no matter how much I’ve read about intros and new siblings. She’s 4 and seems to ‘get it’ and be almost maternal in her excitement, but I’m bracing myself for the new dynamic. Any tips on getting through the first few weeks? XO

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