Can Women Really Have It All?
New mom Drew Barrymore was recently asked how she does it all, and replied, “I can’t and I don’t.”
When speaking with Katie Couric at BlogHer in New York City last summer, the proud mom said, “My daughters are my best accomplishment.”
At the conference, the successful broadcast journalist went on to say that women can have it all…with the help of many people, including nannies, and so on.
Actress Lauren Holly is mom to three children – Azer, 12, George, 11, and Henry, nearly 10 – and opened up about the “constant juggling act” of motherhood and her career.
When asked if ‘having it all’ is unrealistic or attainable, the Dumb & Dumber star said, “It is both.”
She added: “For me it fluctuates between the two, honestly. Some weeks I’m doing it, some weeks I’m flailing.
Journalist and television personality Lisa Ling voiced her opinion on the dilemma, saying:
“I don’t think it is realistic at all. I think women make so many sacrifices, much more than men do. It’s okay to not have it all, it’s okay to ask for help, and it’s okay to say, ‘I need to talk to someone and I need to confide in other people about things.’ I think the idea of women having it all is nice to imagine, but I don’t think it is really possible. I think we can have a whole lot of things and we can be good at a lot of things, but we also should feel like it’s okay to ask for help when we need it. ‘
Actress Elisabeth Rohm relies on the ‘village’ approach to juggle career and motherhood.
“I think that having a strong village makes it all attainable. A woman’s life is a juggling act, especially when you’re a mom and have a career. So having a good circle of friends is extremely helpful, whether it’s just for emotional support or the need for a last-minute babysitter. In addition, I don’t think you should pressure yourself all at once. Everything has its moment.”
Actress Gena Lee Nolin is mom to four children: Spencer, 16, Caia, 11, Hudson, 6, and Stella, 4.
The former Baywatch star shared her thoughts on the illusion of ‘having it all.’
“I’ve learned how to become a balanced mom, wife and friend,” she shared. “Also, I am learning my own definition of ‘having it all.’ I can tell you this, it’s certainly not about being on the number one show in the world or being on the next magazine cover. It’s about being present in every thing I do. No matter what adversity life throws at me, my children know how important they are and that I can always be depended on.”
Tia & Tamera star Tia Mowry-Hardrict is mom to 2-year-old son Cree.
When asked if she thinks women can have it all, Tia replied, “Yes I do.”
She added: “I think that it’s all about trying to prioritize, and that’s the hardest part about finding the balance. You have to ask yourself, ‘What is my priority?’ There are certain women that have different priorities. It’s all about figuring out what your priorities are, what’s working in the household, and what’s not working in the household. It’s important to have a partner who’s very supportive of women having it all and wanting to have it all. It gets a little difficult if you don’t have people around you that support you. Thank god I have a very supportive husband who encourages me to live out my dreams, achieve my goals, and be a mother. I personally believe we can have it all, it’s about trying to find the balance and prioritizing.”
Tia’s twin sister and costar, Tamera Mowry-Housley, also shared her thoughts on ‘having it all.’
“I think women can have it all, but we have to make sacrifices along the way,” said Tamera, whom welcomed her first child, son Aden, in November 2012.
She added: “I don’t think you can have it all without making sacrifices. If you want to be a mom, wife, and businesswoman, you have to accept that you’re not going to be able to be there all the time with your son. What you can do is really make time on the weekend. There is always going to be that push for balance. Yes, you can have it all, but you’re always going to feel like you have to work on things. You’re never going to have it all in the sense that it is never going to be perfect.”
Actress and author Garcelle Beauvais shared her thoughts on the topic:
“I used to think it was attainable but now I believe we put too much pressure on ourselves. We can have different things at different times.”
Singer Amy Grant talks about understanding the need to choose vs. trying to do and have it all.
“I don’t know if I do balance it all. In my line of work, everything happens in waves. Promotion is the hardest, because it is so crazy and hectic. There is a certain rhythm to touring, songwriting, and everything else. It’s all about simplifying your schedule so you have enough time to sit around and think. When I am stressed out, I enjoy cooking and gardening. Each day this spring, I am trying to have a short amount of time I call my “retreat.” I love riding bikes and I also swim every day that I can. When you’re in water, you move around differently and you feel like a kid again. I try not to speed through life. Instead, I try to take time for myself every day. The only way that is possible is by giving some things up. Over the last five years, I’ve made a concerted effort to simplify everything.
I don’t think anyone can have it all in life, but we do have the freedom to choose. You might not be able to choose your exact life circumstances, but you have the freedom to choose your response to them. I am the most stressed out when I have too many commitments on my plate or when I feel like I don’t get to exercise any of my own choices. That is the most important time to say to yourself, ‘Just breathe. You have the freedom to choose how you react to what’s in front of you.’ This could apply to how you respond to the relationship you’re in or something you’re looking forward to. Even in the worst situation, the freedom to respond however you want is a choice for everybody.”
Champion volleyball player Gabrielle Reece is mom to three girls – stepdaughter Izabella, 17, and daughters Reece, 9, Brody, 5.
When asked if women can really ‘have it all,’ the model-athlete replied, “I think you can have it all at different times, but not all at the same time.”
She added: “I always use the analogy where I’m at a party and my kid comes up to me and says, ‘They have cookies, ice cream, and cake!’ To this, I say, ‘You can either have half of two options, or one regular option. You can’t have it all.’”
“In your twenties, you might have a perfect body, a fantastic social life, a killer career, and a clean apartment, and then you go down a different path with a different partner,” Gabby continued. “Something always gives and takes and slides around. It’s about asking yourself, ‘What is the most important thing I want?’ and accepting that the other things might temporarily fall by the wayside. I tell my single friends, ‘Having a husband and kids or just a killer career won’t make a person happy. It’s whatever happiness is to you.’ Some friends just want to have a partner and a great job and that’s awesome! I also had a friend who had kids by herself. You have to define what happiness is to you.”