The Top 15 Comments for Mommies of Multiples
I had been warned that having twins would mean that you become somewhat of a ‘sideshow’ when you’re out in public. I quickly dismissed the warning and didn’t think much of it. That is, until I made my first trip to the mall with two of my other mommy friends and was stopped by at least a half dozen people with various comments and questions about my twins. At first, I enjoyed the extra attention, boasting about my two beautiful girls and all of the details of their birth to complete strangers, but as time went on I started to feel 1. Bad because my friends with their singleton babies had to keep waiting for me while shopping and 2. Annoyed because I wasn’t getting anything done!
As a parent of multiples you hear the same things quite often and mostly from complete strangers.
Here’s my top 15 list of common comments:
1. “Oooh twins?” The novelty of this one wore off pretty quickly and I find myself many times wanting to reply with “Where?” or “I thought one was yours?” or “No, they just look the same.”
2. “Two boys?” Really? Okay, I know that they don’t have a lot of hair, but the pink onesies, pink pants and pink bibs wouldn’t tell you otherwise?
3. “One of each?” Again, pink! If you’re ever not sure if someones baby is a boy or girl a simple solution would be to ask what their names are.
4. “How old are they?” I respond with their actual age to which I receive many raised eyebrows since they’re preemies and a bit smaller. I then have to get into the whole “well they were born two months early…yada yada yada.”
5. “You poor thing.” I don’t get this very often to which I’m grateful. I don’t consider myself unfortunate for having twins, not at all! True, they are twice the work but double the fun as well.
6. “Double the fun!” I agree!
7. “How are you managing?” What are my options? As a mom of one, two or ten no matter how many you have you just do it. It’s what we do as parents. In life I believe that you choose to sink or swim and I choose to swim when it comes to my girls.
8. “You must not get out much.” Actually I do, I find being cooped up inside makes me and the girls stir crazy. I find this a silly comment. Obviously I get out with them since I’m out in public when being asked.
9. “Two for the price of one!” Really?…where do YOU shop? I’d love to know where to get a two for one special when it comes to buying anything for twins!
10. “Better you than me.” Well if that’s the way you feel about two beautiful baby girls then yes, for their sake, I completely agree with you.
11. “Are they identical?” Okay, this is a fair question. True, they look EXACTLY THE SAME, but I never dress them in the same outfits, so this one I understand.
12. “How do you tell them apart?” I simply answer this one as follows: “I’m their mom, I just know.”
13. “I have two under the age of two, that’s just like having twins.” I have to give credit to those who have toddlers and newborns. While I agree, you do have your hands full, trust me, it is NOT the same as having twins.
14. “Do twins run in your family?” This is a fair question, yet another long winded answer as there are twins in my family as well as my husbands.
15. “How did you have them?” The first time I was asked this I had to clarify what the lady meant. She meant did I have them through fertility or not. In my case they were a complete surprise, but I know many happy, healthy twins that were conceived through fertility. I’m always blown away when I get this question, because really, is it anyone’s business HOW I conceived??
Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to share my experiences and I love to boast about my girls, it just gets exhausting having to repeat the same answers over and over, not to mention some of the questions are pretty personal.
I feel like making a sign with all of the questions and answers written out to save time and energy.
I think twins are amazing, but I have an obvious bias. For others, I’m really not sure what the attraction is. I know at least a half dozen other mommies that I grew up with who have twins, and yet, every time I’m out I get stopped. I’ve even gotten to the point where I’ve started pretending that I don’t hear the comments behind me.
While out on walks I’ve had to bite my tongue when people say “Oooh twins?” I’d like to think of myself as a pleasant person, but sometimes I just want to respond with “Where?” I’ve never been able to bring myself to do it though, not yet anyway.
I’ve been told by other multiple mommies that the ‘sideshow’ stage ends around the age of one…but I’m not holding my breath. In the meantime, I’ll just keep answering the questions I’ve become so familiar with: “Two boys?” “How old are they?” “Are they identical?” It’s a good thing I’m so proud of my girls and talking about them really isn’t a difficult a task.