Sleep deprived or insane

My request was straight forward and simple. All I wanted was one night where I could sleep longer than 2 hours.  Was this an unreasonable request?  Apparently so.

The moment you cast your eyes on that positive pregnancy test you can throw your usual 8 hours a night sleep out the window along with any sexy underwear and bras you own as well.  Sleep wasn’t going to happen much and hey I got it I understood – but really 13 years?  This is seriously messed up!

I do believe I am beyond sleep deprived and on the brink of insanity.  When I was pregnant with Thatcher and Tannner I couldn’t sleep.  When they born and in NICU I should have slept but couldn’t because I was too worried about them, then I couldn’t sleep because I was the one who was sick.  They came home and of course I didn’t sleep much then because they were preemies and had to eat more.  So much for sleeping when you have twins who are not on the same schedule yet and have to eat every 2 hours.

Fast forward to now.  My twins are 6 months today (4.5 months corrected age). And they still do not sleep.  I have tried to get them on the same schedule and they usually are, except of course after the clock strikes midnight.  Then my friends the gates to hell open and start to suck me in.

They start off with a bottle then into bed around 7pm, by 7:45 latest they are asleep.  They usually sleep until about midnight and then the howling begins – er that would be the howling from me.  They do the ‘in stereo’ crying thing and I really do go crazy when the hubby isn’t here because for some reason it is really hard to hold two babies and try to comfort them on my own.  So then I start the whole pleading and bribing thing even though they don’t give a damn.

“Pleaseeeee go to sleep because mommy is really tired and hasn’t even been to sleep yet.”  Louder cries. “Seriously pleaseeeee get to sleep.”

“If you guys go to sleep now and stay asleep I will buy you both an exersaucer tomorrow.” They don’t give a shit about this either.

“Okay go to sleep or you will wake up your sisters and brothers pleaseeeeee!”

Then the blaming game on why they won’t sleep starts. It’s the diapers fault.  So I change it.  They are too hot or too cold so I change their clothes. It is now 1am and Thatcher is smiling, cooing and looking way too cute.  Tanner falls asleep.  Thatcher keeps trying to play with me.  I lay him beside me in bed even though I swore these two babies wouldn’t be allowed to sleep with me.  He wiggles around, breastfeeds then finally falls asleep.

I pick Thatcher up place him gently in the crib and tip toe over to my bed and lay down.  Finally I can sleep!  Tanner starts to make noise.  I shut my eyes tight and pretend not to hear him.  He starts to wail.  I pick him and start all over again.  In the bed he comes, feeds then falls asleep.  I don’t bother putting him in the crib and try not to feel guilty about allowing Tanner in my bed but not Thatcher.

It is now 3:20am.  They sleep until 4:58am.  Thatcher and Tanner start to cry.

So much for my 2 hours.  I think I’ll go buy a copy of “Go The F**ck To Sleep!”

What about you?  How sleep deprived are you?  Does your baby sleep all night and if not what coping strategies do you use?