I am a Co-Sleeper

It wasn’t something that I had planned on. It came very unexpectedly. I worked so hard on sleep schedules and helping my babies develop good sleeping patters, which they did but somewhere along the way it happened.

We became co-sleepers.

I don’t remember the exact moment it happened. What I do remember was that it happened out of desperation. A desperate need for sleep.

I found myself dozing off while nursing a baby in the middle of the night. I would wake up and she would be safe in my arms while I slouched in the rocking chair, the light from the tiny table lamp shining down on her beautiful little face.

My first born was bottle fed so we could tag team night time feedings and it was amazing. While I was not getting near the amount of sleep I needed to function as a normal human being, I wasn’t as completely wiped as when I had no one to take over when I needed a few more z’s.

I began to worry that I would fall asleep while nursing and drop her or fall off the chair on my sleeping baby.

One day when my body just wouldn’t physically stay awake any longer and every time I tried to put her down in her crib she woke up in tears, I decided to bring her into bed with me. I pulled back all the heavy covers, made sure there were no pillows around and we both fell into the most beautiful, heavenly sleep either of us had had in a long time.

I woke up a couple of hours later and she was still sleeping soundly beside me. She hadn’t woken up once. No crying, no fussing, no screaming…she slept. I slept.

That was all it took.

She needed to be close to me to sleep. If that’s what it took to get us both to sleep then that’s what I was going to do.

As time went on it became out routine, she went to sleep peacefully in her crib but sometime, usually in the dead of night, the crying would begin and I would pick her up and bring her back to my bed where we would both snuggle into each other and drift off to dreamland together.

It was not uncommon for my toddler to pitter patter his little feet into our bed at night which made our king size bed absolutely necessary and so warm.

I have to admit that I have had my best sleeps with my little one’s arms wrapped around my neck. It’s amazing to feel their little hands reach out for me in the middle of the night to make sure I’m still there.

I didn’t plan for it to happen and I spent a lot of time thinking I was making a big mistake but as my oldest outgrows the co-sleeping phase of life I know that they won’t want to sleep with us forever. So I will take it while I have it. I will take all the cuddles, love and warmth while I have it.

I didn’t intend to end up like this but somehow I became a co-sleeper and I love it.