Being Nice or just plain Nosey?
I’ve dealt with it before. Back to almost five years ago, just after our miscarriage. All of our friends were having babies and my husband and I were asked constantly when we planned on having a little one of our own?
Little did they know that I was healing physically, emotionally and mentally at that very moment. And every time someone felt the need to be informed about our current situation, my delicate, freshly healed wounds would be ripped back open.
I get it. People care, or rather, they care to know.
We dealt with the inquiries again when the twins were born. Questions like; did we use fertility treatments to conceive? Are they identical? How big were they when they were born? Do we plan on having any more?
You know, things that really aren’t anyone’s business but ours, yet we were and still are asked more times than we can count.
Lately I’ve been receiving another type of inquiry. Something I’ve actually dealt with for my entire life but not as often as today.
I became an independent fitness coach at the start of the year. My health and fitness are two things I’ve been working on since the twins were nine months old. After a pregnancy that had me on bed rest for months and then trying to figure out life with twins and preemies to boot, I had a lot of other important things to focus on and my health was put on the back burner. I’ve come a long way since then, and have really started to understand the nutritional aspect. So I decided to become a coach and help others do the same.
Because of this choice I workout daily, I eat better than I ever have and I’m stronger and healthier than I’ve ever been.
I’ve always been thin. I’ve had to deal with ‘skinny shaming’ for most of my life. Now because of my new focus I’ve gained muscle and dropped inches that I’ve held onto for years… And people have noticed.
I get compliments on how strong and fit I look and how ‘inspiring’ I am from many. On the flip side I get asked if ‘I’m well’ or why I’m so ‘skinny’. I’ve even been asked if I’m eating.
I can ASSURE you I’m eating! I’m eating GOOD, healthy foods: proteins, veggies, fruits, superfoods and lots of them. Yes. I’m eating.
I couldn’t figure out why I was so upset by these comments. Especially since I’ve dealt with it my whole life to some degree.
Maybe it’s because I take pride in what I’m doing and why I’m doing it… To be a good role model to my kids. To be around and healthy in their lives as long as I possibly can. To help others know that they can do it too.
Or maybe it bothers me because if I was overweight I wouldn’t be getting these questions. I’m sure people would think twice before asking “are you well?” if I were on the opposite end of the spectrum.
I will never understand why people think it’s in their best interest to know other people’s business. Maybe it’s because they care. Or maybe it’s simply because they care to know.
Either way, it won’t change me and my focus. I will continue on with my head held high. I will keep inspiring all I can, especially my own daughters. To teach them strength inside and out, including how to let hurtful comments just roll off their backs as they do their next set of push-ups.