Family Slumbering

By: Shannon Payette Seip & Adrienne Hedger 140Image

Toddler Handbook: Tips for Toddlers, By Toddlers

• In the middle of the night, run down the hallway without bothering to tiptoe. Your parents will hear the pitter-patter of your feet and be grateful that you are coming to join them in bed at such an hour.

• Climb onto the bed, find a warm body, and lie directly on top of it, horizontally.

• You will likely be moved. There is no need for you to cooperate in this matter. Just let your entire body go limp as your parents try to reposition you.

• Once they reposition you, rotate yourself so you are horizontal again.  Your feet should be pressing against the side of one parent’s face and your hands should be flopping against your other parent’s face.

• As you drift back to sleep, don’t worry about disrupting anyone with your kicking, elbowing, snoring, or flopping around. None of this is your concern.

• If you feel you must pee, then pee.

• By the time everyone wakes up, you should be not only horizontal but also spread eagle with your arms stretched out above your head. Your parents should be pushed so far to the side that they are almost falling off the edge of the bed.

From The World According to Toddlers by Shannon Payette Seip & Adrienne Hedger/Andrews McMeel Publishing Visit their website at

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