Ask Kat: Post-Baby Friendships

As the mum of three small boys, an expert in baby products and a no-nonsense parent, resident blogger Kat Armstrong always seems to be called upon by friends, family and strangers to answer tough parenting questions. We thought it was high time she shared this knowledge with you, and her series Ask Kat was born. If you have questions for Kat, you can email her at askkat@ohbabymagazine.com.

Dear Kat,

I had my baby about 18 months ago, and returned to work around 4 months ago. My previous office bestie, who was my cubicle mate, party companion and all around swell gal has changed dramatically since I returned to work. She’s been so super cynical about parenting and families since I started mine and has said some very hurtful things to me about my baby. I really loved hanging out with her but I’m wondering if I should scale back our friendship since she seems so unhappy.

Celine, Hamilton

Celine,

Sometimes, when we have babies, our friendships change, and that’s ok. Maybe your friend is having fertility issues and she feels uncomfortable talking about them? Perhaps she is upset that you have time for your baby but less for her? Unless you are ready to ask her directly, you may never know the answer. It’s ok to end friendships and have things change over time, and, truthfully, having kids doesn’t always mean you keep all your friends from the past and that’s 100% ok. As long as you are happy and fulfilled, the friendship will be worth it. If it’s not, or it’s not salvageable, I think it’s perfectly reasonable to pass on and move on with your life.

Kat