Terrible two’s are not a fun part of raising children. My little man who used to be the sweetest, kindest little boy has suddenly turned into this little monster.  It is hard to tell when the switch will go off and it can get a little frustrating.

He has delayed speech and a lot of the temper comes from not being able to communicate with us. We have him in speech therapy which is helping but my issue isn’t with that. It’s with the not being able to handle the word No. When we tell him he can’t have what he wants or do what he wants he gets very  upset. He is going through the biting and fighting phase and I worry that since he does this with us and his older sister, will he do that with other kids in classes or in the playground? How do we explain since words just aren’t cutting it, that it is wrong to do these things when he is angry. The other day, I had to give him a time out. He refused to sit in the time out spot so I put him in my lap and held him. He started to hit me, so I held his hands. This upset him so he tried to bite me. I positioned myself in a way where he could no longer bite me so he then chose to try and head butt me, all so he wouldn’t have to be in time out. I’m sure many people might’ve just let him go, but I am a believer in the follow through. I didn’t want to give him the idea that if he hits me or someone else, then he will get what he wants.

I have no idea what is right and what is wrong when dealing with this. Just when I thought I had it figured out, the terrible two’s throw something else at me. Our latest issue is bed time. He used to be really easy to put down. Now he will ask to go potty two or three times even though he doesn’t do anything when he goes. This has been going on for a few nights now. He is potty training, so I don’t want to tell him he can’t go but I also can’t encourage the fooling around.

Our speech therapist has scheduled a phone call for me to speak to a behavioural analyst. I know my son is a sweet little boy but something is frustrating him that is causing this behaviour. I want to help him deal with this in a non violent, kinder way. I am hoping she can help us do this.

I would love to hear some feedback from our Oh Baby! readers. Have any of you dealt with this? How did you get through this phase?

Then we got married and a few months later I got pregnant. For the Valentine’s day that fell in that year, we had a nice dinner at home that hubby cooked (mostly because I had a rough pregnancy and going out to dinner really wasn’t an option.)

Since the birth of my first, Valentine’s day has lost it’s appeal in our home. I buy hubby and the kids a Valentine’s card and if I’m lucky, hubby will remember and I will get some flowers. At first it bothered me but then I really thought about it, “How important is Valentine’s Day?.” I am surrounded by love every day. My daughter tells me at least three times a day how much she loves me and my son gives me more kisses and hugs than I can count. Hubby and I say I Love You every time we hang  up the phone, when he leaves for work and at bed time. So do we really need Valentine’s Day?

Now don’t get me wrong, I love it when hubby remembers and I get a little something but it is no longer important to me and I don’t know why I ever thought it was. I still celebrate it with my little ones by making a special Valentine treat and a craft and it is an overall fun day. Now that I have a family, Valentine’s day is a day where we can have “themed” fun. It’s no longer the anticipation of what will hubby bring home or will he even remember and possibly end with me disappointed.

My point is whether you celebrate Valentine’s or not, as long as you have love in your life every day, it really isn’t important to get the material things on February 14. We should show each other how much we love each other every day and be thankful for having each other in our lives.

A few years back, my Princess decided she wanted to be Tinkerbell. I got her the most adorable costume and was thrilled when I saw a Peter Pan costume. I, of course, bought it and we went out trick or treating together. This year she has decided she wants to dress as Michael Angelo from the Ninja Turtles. At first I was a little concerned about her wearing a boys costume because kids can be cruel, but then I thought it shouldn’t matter what she wants to dress as. After all, that is half the fun of Halloween. So instead of saying no, when she asked if her brother could go as Raphael, I thought why don’t we all dress up? She was thrilled with the idea, even though as soon as I said it I kind of wish I hadn’t, I mean really, walking around as a giant turtle? But the look on her face was enough to have me go online and see if I could find adult costumes. I found them and happily found a very cute female version too! So the four of us will be going out as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles this year. I will be Donatello and hubby will be Raphael.

I am actually getting excited for this. One cause I know how happy I am making my little girl but also because hubby hates Halloween almost as much as I love it. It is going to be so much fun seeing him dress up. I can’t wait to take hundreds of pics of him all dressed up!  Yeah, Yeah I know. It’s a little cruel. But I never thought I would actually get him to dress in an actual costume so it’s worth it!

Hope everyone has as much fun on Halloween as we will. What will you and/or your little ones dress as?

With parents who have children that are returning to school, most are glad to have them out of the house.  OK seriously, a lot of them feel a little better about the transition but still have worries. “Will they be in the same class with their friends from last year?” “Will they get along with their new teacher?” “How much harder will the curriculum be for them?” “Will they be able to handle the extra work load?”

Whatever grade your child is going into, it is important to remember that they feed of our energies.  A lot of our kids will be nervous if they see we are nervous.  Others will be excited if we let them know how much fun going to a new school can be.

For our kids going into JK, make them comfortable with their letters, numbers and colours. All kids learn on different levels but if we work with them at home, they will be more at ease learning in school.  It is also a good idea to get them started on learning how to spell their name.

I also believe that teaching our children social skills will help them in school. Just being able to go up to another child and asking them their name, will help our kids enjoy the school experience a little more. Making friends is a very big part of our school life and even the shyest child will be able to engage with others if we help them along.

Before the first day of school, visit the school a few times. If you (or a sitter) will be walking your little one, walk the route a few times with them so they will know it. If they will be taking the bus, talk to them about the bus and what the rules are so they know them ahead of time. Don’t know what the rules are? Here are a few important ones:

1. Stay seated for the entire bus ride, and never stand while the bus is moving. Wait until the bus stops completely before exiting.

2. Stand at least six feet away from the curb as the bus approaches, and take two giant steps away from the bus as soon as you exit.

3. Never play in the street while waiting for the bus to arrive.

4. Never reach under the school bus to get something that has rolled underneath. Alert the bus driver instead.

5. Never walk behind the bus or close to the side or front of the bus since you could be in the driver’s blind spot. When walking in front of the bus, stay about ten feet (10 giant steps) or more away from the bus’ nose. Line up facing the school bus door and not along the side of the bus.

6. Remain quiet when entering and leaving the bus.

7. Always look both ways before crossing in front of the school bus. Use your eyes and ears before you cross the street.

8. Speak quietly with friends on the bus. Too much noise is distracting to the bus driver.

9. Don’t push or shove when entering and leaving the bus.

10. Walk in a single file line and hold the handrails when leaving and entering the bus to avoid falls.

11. Always exit from the front of the bus.

12. Keep the bus aisles clear by keeping your feet and book bags out of the way.

The most important thing you can do to prepare your child is reassure them and be prepared to let go. Our children are growing up faster than we would like but we are our own worst enemies. If we are not willing to let them go and reach for the stars, they won’t. So make the first day of school an exciting event in their life and remind them that it is going to be a fun experience.

I am a walking zombie. I have read all the articles I can find on this but nothing seems to work. He isn’t teething and doesn’t have gas, so I don’t think he’s in pain. The only thing I can think is that it is separation anxiety. He seems to be fine when I am sitting with him in his room or when he is brought into my bed and snuggles into the crook of my neck.

I am not sure how to handle this. I spend pretty much all my free time with my kids. I do have to work full time so I wonder if that is the reason he is going through it but I have been back to work for seven months now. Should this not have passed by now? He doesn’t cry when I drop him off in the morning so it is not an all day long issue. He naps during the day without needing anyone to hold him. It is only at night that he needs the reassurance.

I would LOVE some help from you. How do I get GM to sleep at night without my being right beside him? I don’t know how much longer I can go without a full night of sleep.

Sorry if this post seems all over the place but the lack of sleep is REALLY starting to get to me. Looking forward to any and all advice.

Growing up I spent a lot of time disagreeing with my parents. I didn’t like that I couldn’t go outside and play whenever I wanted to and what do you mean I have to clean my own room? As a teenager, those disagreements turned into some pretty good arguments. I look back at how I treated my mom back then and I feel guilty. I know it’s normal for kids to go through this with their parents, after all, my daughter has already started with the “It’s not fair!” statements and the “Why do I have to do everything?” question; but I still feel the need to apologize to my mother.

As a parent I now realize that everything my parents did, it wasn’t because they didn’t want me to have fun, it was because they loved and cared for me and wanted to keep me safe. Even as an adult, my mom does so much for me. When she comes to my house, she almost always takes over my kitchen and helps cook the meal. A few weeks back I had emergency surgery to remove my appendix and while I recover she has come over on the weekend to help watch my kids since I can’t do any heavy lifting. She doesn’t have to do this. I am grown up and moved out and it is time for her to go and enjoy her life but she dropped everything to be there for me and my kids.

This made me realize that we never stop being a mom. We will always worry about our kids, no matter how old they are. We will do things for them even when they don’t ask for it. We will love them even when they say “I hate these rules!” or “Why can’t you be like __________’s mom?”

I want to take this time to say “Thanks Mom!” I know I don’t say it enough but I love you and I appreciate EVERYTHING you do for me. I know that sometimes I may even seem ungrateful or get a little frustrated with you but I know I wouldn’t be the person I am if it wasn’t for you. In fact, you have made me the mom that I am today and I couldn’t be more grateful for that. So thank you Mom for being so amazing and taking such good care of us!

Lately, my little miss has been pushing ALL of my buttons. She is trying to see what she can get away with and, to be honest, it is driving me a nuts. I have tried a number of different things to discipline and some were successful and others were not. Here are a few things I have tried and what works (or not) for us.

1. Counting to three – this used to be all we needed. She just knew not to let the word three come out of my mouth. I honestly never had a consequence for the #3 because I never got there. Now that she’s four, she wants to know what will happen when I say three. Can I tell you how shocked I was when she just stood there after I said two? I didn’t know what to do. I had to do some quick thinking and come up with a punishment. This brings me to number two…

2. Sending her to her room – this is a useless action in our home. Our kids have so many toys all over the house; they just end up playing while they are in there.

3. Time Out – we tried having a naughty corner where she would have to stand for as many minutes as her age. This worked for a little while but it gets tiring having to remind them to stay there until I say they can leave. Or if they are having a really bad day, I spend half the time chasing them around the house to get them back in the corner.

4. Taking things away – this is the most effective consequence in our home. My daughter loves playing with the iPad or iPhone and when she misbehaves, she is not allowed to play with them. It is the one punishment that always works. We will warn her that if the bad behavior continues she will not be allowed to use these, the laptop, play with the most recent favorite toy and we always follow through with the threat. Since we have started this, we have noticed that the behavior has improved.

It is important to remember that every child is special and will react differently to each situation.  I would love to hear of different things that you have tried that were successful.

I recently heard from a friend (who does not yet have children) that she was basically ridiculed for not wanting to be a stay at home mom. She was told by another woman that she was not going to be a good mom because she planned on being a working mom. I was in shock to hear this. First of all, how could another woman put down another without knowing what she is going through in her life. Next, my friend doesn’t even have children yet. This woman already tried to make her feel like a bad mom and she hasn’t even had the chance to enjoy being pregnant and giving birth. She made my friend second guess herself for a minute. Any mom knows how many times we wonder if what we are doing is right. We don’t need any help from the “peanut gallery”. My friend is happiest when she is working. She enjoys being busy and loves her job. She is one of the few lucky people who work in an industry that they love. Besides, what she feels now could change when she has children.

I would LOVE to be a stay at home but unfortunately, it’s not a possibility for me at the moment. Does it make me a bad mom because I am back to work? Wouldn’t it make me a very good mom knowing that my working is keeping a roof over our heads and putting food on our table?!?

As with any job, it’s important to take some time off. I am not saying you have to leave your family for a weeks vacation, but taking an hour to take of care yourself is necessity. It is especially important for us sleep deprived moms to take time. I know when I am really tired, I am less patient and easily irritated. Taking time for a mani and pedi or even just a hot bath can be invigorating. I enjoy going out with the girls and having a glass of wine. Ever hear the song Girls Just Wanna Have Fun? I think someone should make one called Moms Just Wanna Have Fun. The mini vacations I take from the best job I ever had are what keep me sane. My relationship with my hubby and kids relies on these little outings. After all a happy mama makes for a happy family. So I ask everyone to not judge another for wanting some alone time, to be a working mom or having a fun ladies night out. Why should kids have all the fun? Moms are allowed to have fun too!

A few years ago when Bella was two, I decided I didn’t want her to ever think that Christmas is for getting. I really wanted to instill the importance of charity. While we were out shopping, I had her pick two toys, one for a boy and one for a girl, and then we dropped it off in the Toys for Tots box. Right away, she asked why we did this and I explained that even though Santa makes his way to everyone’s house for Christmas, some kids only get the one toy from Santa. They don’t have a lot of presents to open and we should share what we have. Of course at two years old I wasn’t sure she really got it, but then we did it again when she was three. This time it seemed to sink in a little better. This year, I was packing clothes to donate to one of the many charities who come to collect and my little princess decided to go through her toys and pack up some toys for kids who don’t have any. How proud was I at that moment?

She filled up one big garbage bag full of stuffed animals, books and toys. It was great to see that she is actually learning about charity. Her school is sending shoe boxes full of items to children in other countries in need and she helped pick out the items that we were going to donate. The best thing about that shopping trip is she understood it was for the donations and not once asked for anything for herself. She also asked if we would be buying toys to put in the toy box again. She has already chosen the two toys she wants to donate. A new tradition has been born.

You know, I often wonder what kind of grown up my little girl will turn out to be. Every day she gives me new faith that I am doing my job well and she will turn out to be a kind and loving adult. I am excited for her to teach her younger brother, as they get older, the joy of giving. It makes me so happy to know that all my lessons are sinking in and that I am teaching them some important values to carry on with them.

I have already bought mine and my little ones costumes. Bella will be going as Rapuntzel (although she does keep changing her mind and asking for the Merida costume), Gian-Michael has an adorable one eyed monster costume and I have a vampire costume. Gian-Michael will be 10 months old and I do plan to take him door to door. He will probably get candy but of course I won’t let him eat any (more for me). Last year I remember some parents coming door to door with kids younger than GM. For Bella’s first Halloween she was 6 months old, I dressed her up and sat with her on my porch handing out candies. This year I am bringing GM out mostly because I am bringing my daughter out. My question is how early is too early? At what age should you start bringing your kids out trick or treating? I think it’s cute to see the little ones all dressed up but is it right to bring them door to door if they don’t have an older sibling with them? Do you give candies out to these kids knowing the candy is obviously for the parents?

I would love to hear what your plans are and your thoughts on this.

Have a Happy and Safe Halloween!