While visiting family back home, a friend of mine found herself at Costco with her in-laws. As they wandered past the clothing section of the store, her “tween” niece announced that in her opinion, “Shopping for clothes where you shop for your groceries, is like fashion suicide.” Easy for her to say – this girl had yet to have a summer job!

As I was listening to my friend, I took a mental stock of what I was wearing at the moment, and sure enough, at least half of my wardrobe was from a variety of big-box grocery stores.

This caused me to ask myself whether or not that was a good thing. I have to admit, overall my wardrobe has become a lot more casual since leaving work and having kids. Generally I think that’s great. I love being able to ditch the nylons and uncomfortable shoes, especially now that there are a lot more cool, workout-style clothes that you can wear for comfort but still feel put together.

Looking casual is one thing, but did this girl have a point? I’ve seen those talk-show makeovers where they spiff up the stay-at-home mom. And while I like my more casual lifestyle, I have to admit there are times when I catch my reflection in a store window and wonder “What happened?” However, I don’t think that has anything to do with where I shop or how much I spend. I think it’s more what I do, such as trudging through the snow walking kids to school. Nevertheless, overall I am certain that her statement was baloney, and I’ll tell you why:

1. As a busy mom on a budget, I pride myself on finding a good bargain, and love it when I get compliments on my clothes and can tell people “It only cost $10!!!”

2. It’s convenient and saves you time. Everyone’s lives are way too busy these days. If you can pick up some socks and underwear while you buy dinner, I’d say you’re ahead of the game if it saves you one less stop before you have to pick up the kids. I’ve had last-minute funerals where I suddenly needed a conservative-looking cardigan, or one of the kids forgot to tell me she lost her gym clothes and had a tournament the next day. Believe me, I was very happy to be able to go to the Joe Fresh at my Loblaws right around the corner.

3. Bargain brands don’t necessarily mean lower quality. We are accustomed to equating brand names with higher quality, but that isn’t always the case. When it comes to basic t-shirts and a pair of jean shorts, I really don’t see any difference, and in fact often prefer the bargain brand. Dressing from head-to-toe in your grocery store purchases may be a bit much, but if you mix a few items in with a great pair of shoes or jacket, and be careful of the fit, you’ll have them fooled. You wouldn’t believe the compliments I get on my fall jacket from Costco. I’ve had to correct many people who assumed it was from Lululemon (Canada’s current “queen of casual”), and it was a fraction of the cost. I say spend it where it counts so you have more in your wallet when those Manolo’s are calling!

4.  We should not teach our children to be brand-name snobs, but instead, to appreciate a bargain. I went to a high school that was plagued with an obsession over brand names, and would have served as great material for its own “Mean Girls” movie. There was a lot of unnecessary pressure at an age where it’s already tough enough to fit in. I’d like to think that as adults, we are mature and confident enough to walk tall even if our Uggs are knock-offs, and actually realize how silly it is to pay full price when you can find the exact same item without the fancy label. The best way to teach our kids is by example.

While the above points are all valid, there is one potential pitfall of which to be wary. You might be tempted to shop “just because it’s there”. Grocery bills can really add up if you add a clothing item each time, even if it’s a great deal. I always think to myself, “Would I be going out to buy this if I didn’t happen to need milk and bread?” Maybe, maybe not. But my theory is, when in doubt, buy it. You can always return it because you know you’ll be back soon!

Jennifer Torres

Archived from April, 2012.

We also leave each experience with lessons learned the hard way. I can tell you it does not get easier, but there are things you can do to prevent the situation from becoming worse.

• Keep your mobile phone on you and charged at all times. There is nothing more frustrating than being in the back of an ambulance or sitting in the emergency ward and not being able to contact your family as soon as possible. You will need back-up, whether it is to have someone pick up your other kids from school, or to have someone relieve you at the hospital. Also, I recently learned that your cell phone will dial 911 even if your battery is dead. They will track you via GPS. Good to know, but still better to have a full battery as it can be very helpful to have someone on the line until the ambulance arrives.

• Have emergency numbers programmed into your phone. The last time we had an episode I couldn’t remember our doctor’s number for the life of me and it’s been the same number for years! Also, it is important to have OHIP or health insurance numbers on hand. Caregivers, grandparents should have this info as well.

• Always have taxi money in your wallet and keep an energy bar or snack and a bottle of water in your purse or diaper bag. You will not want to leave your child, so going down the hall for a snack is out of the question and it could be a while until family arrives. Even then, the stress may suppress your appetite, but you have to force yourself to eat and take care of yourself so that you can be there for your child.

• Don’t be shy to ask for help. You may need a change of clothes, a toothbrush, or other items for your child. Someone to walk the dog, call the school etc. We moms are used to doing it all, but we need to know when to delegate.

• Take a first aid/CPR course. Often it is something required by work and that is the only reason people bother, but chances are you will end up using that knowledge on those you love most. Take the course, stay up to date, and pay attention.

• Advocate for your child. Our hospitals and their staff are wonderful for the most part, but you know your child better than anyone, and sometimes you have to push to get what they need in time. However, you also have to keep in mind that while your emergency may be the worst thing that has ever happened to you, the hospitals put you in priority of urgency, so we need to respect that there may be other patients who need more immediate attention.

• Don’t feel guilty if you hit the drive-thru on the way home. It is not the end of the world and after a day or night in the emergency ward the last thing you are going to want to do is go home and cook a meal.

• Rest and recover. The stress and worry of traumatic events takes a toll on everyone. We need to take care of ourselves to face another day.

It is our sincere hope that you will never have to experience an emergency with your child, but in case you do, we hope this helps.

Jennifer Torres & Maria Dorado

Archived from March, 2012.

Getting back to normal is even more challenging this year because the kids are out of school the whole first week of January. That means postponing any resolutions a whole other week. We’ve become homebodies who enjoy sleeping in, and I’m afraid the shock of going back to school, work, and after-school activities is going to hit us hard.

Last year I started to implement a few strategies to help us ease our way back into the swing of things. For example, rather than taking down the tree by New Year’s as we used to, we now leave the tree up a few more days. The Christmas decorations come off, but we replace them with glittery disco balls and turn it into a “New Year Tree”. It is in effect a “Transition Tree”, but it has become a fun annual tradition nonetheless.

I always maintain it is a good thing that we need to take our babies to the doctor the first week we are home from the hospital after giving birth. Without that appointment booked, I think I might have become somewhat agoraphobic and preferred to stay home where it was safe and cozy. It is sort of the same thing with the end of the holiday – both my doctor and dentist have called to book appointments before school starts, thus forcing us out of the house and back into the real world.

There are lots of little things that can help make the transition. Music is a big one for me. I love Christmas carols on December 1^st, but by the 26^th they start to drive me batty. Buying a good new CD of non-holiday music and playing it over and over does wonders for my soul. This year’s pick is a New Orleans jazz compilation from the HBO series “Treme” – about as far from Santa tunes as it gets!

Similarly, going to the movies rather than renting or Net-Flixing is another good tactic. It means you actually have to turn on your computer, check the listings, get dressed, and get into the car – all steps toward reality.

I’ve also noticed that bringing fitness magazines back into our household has given me a necessary nudge. As a direct result, I’ve officially said good-bye to binging on Turtles (for this year anyway). For a while there each holiday season, we keep the Rice Krispie Squares, Ferrero Rocher, Panetone, and other various goodies in stock and replace them immediately if we’re running low. Well, right now we’re still eating a few of the treats that remain, but yesterday was my first grocery shop and I managed to buy only healthy items and not replenish our staple treats. I’ve even hit the gym a few times and have taken advantage of our dry roads this year by going for a run. This is not up to par with my usual fitness regime but is better than the holiday inertia I’ve fallen into.

Every year I swear I’ll eat right, exercise, and stay on top of my workload during the holidays, but I think there’s a reason I always fall short. We tend to go so hard during the year, that it’s important to take some time out to eat, drink and be merry. We should add “sleep” to that popular holiday mantra. Animals get to hibernate and we should too!

Even though we have to face a few post-holiday pangs as the end draws near, the time out is well worth it. After all, when “going back to work” means dancing with moms and babies to my favourite kind of music, I can’t really complain!

– Jennifer

Archived from January, 2012.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t appreciate technology. Salsa Babies® wouldn’t be where it is today without the Internet, and I can no longer teach a class without my iPod. I have to admit, as a busy mom on the go I wouldn’t want to be without my Blackberry either. However, there are some areas where technology frankly scares me, especially where our kids are concerned.

All of these new gadgets and social media outlets are uncharted territory where parenting is concerned. There is no precedent. We can’t look at how our parents raised us as a point of reference. Cell phones weren’t around when I was as a kid, so when my daughter asks when she can have one, I have to stop and think about it.

What is an appropriate age for a cell phone? An email address? A Facebook or Twitter account? We’ve seen adults in positions of power and prestige abuse and misuse these tools, so it seems like a lot of responsibility to place on a child.

We have to consider some very important issues, with privacy and safety at the top of the list. The classic joke in the old days was that if you put a funeral notice in the newspaper you were risking your house being robbed because everyone knew for certain you wouldn’t be home. Well, maybe we shouldn’t be telling our two thousand Facebook “friends” when we’re going on vacation! And if we’re doing this, imagine what our kids are posting without thinking.

People tend to be braver in writing and say things they wouldn’t in person. This can lead to big-time regrets and even escalate to cyber bullying. My goddaughter is a few years older than my kids, so I often look to her parents for advice. Their number one mantra is “Never write anything you wouldn’t want printed on a billboard”. I think kids and even adults don’t always grasp the fact that cyberspace means forever. Once it’s out there, you can’t get it back.

When we were young you could rip up a love note you sent to your first crush. With email, that same note can be forwarded to the entire school in the blink of an eye. And while we can teach our kids to stop and think about what they write, we have to worry about how they behave at all times. Imagine if people had phones with cameras that allowed them to instantaneously post pictures of us to millions of people when we were whooping it up in our teens and early twenties? Scary stuff!

Parents used to debate how much time should be spent watching T.V. Now we need to add video games, Wii, surfing, chatting and texting to the discussion. We don’t want our kids to be isolated and out of step if these are the new social norms, but I do question how this will affect their people skills when interacting face to face.

Never mind time online, it’s also time in their pockets or backpacks that is a concern. I don’t know if a 12-year-old kid should be walking around with a $500 gadget. Do they appreciate what that really means in terms of work hours? Whether it spoils them or not, it makes them a target for being mugged by someone who definitely understands the dollar amount of what they are carrying around.

I may sound like an old fuddy duddy, but I just don’t get it. We are working longer than ever before, yet we’re spending record hours “plugged in” during our supposed downtime. I don’t think we realize the repercussions that are in store for us down the road. We need to stay with the times, but always question and re-evaluate what we believe to be status quo. Sometimes being different from everyone else is the best thing you can teach a kid!

– Jennifer

Archived from December, 2011.

I may have been rationalizing in order to live with myself and my guilt, but I began to question whether we really need every birthday party on video. Will we ever watch all of those events again? Sometimes it’s hard to foresee what we’ll cherish down the road, so we try to get it all “just in case”. Then we’re stuck with hours of footage and thousands of photos to sort on a rainy day that never seems to come.

In this age of technology we record almost everything that happens. Between Twitter, Facebook and YouTube, one could assemble a pretty complete documentary of an entire life story. However, at times I think we might actually be taking away from the moment because we’re so busy recording it.

Here is a perfect example: my nephew scored his first goal a few months back, and initially my sister regretted not getting it on film. However, she soon realized that she wouldn’t have been able to soak in the glory of the goal or the look on the little guy’s face the same way if her eye had been glued to the lens.

For some reason I have this belief that it is my responsibility as a mom to record my kids’ lives. I’m terrible at keeping photo albums and baby books up to date, because frankly I find it a bit overwhelming. I do have an on-the-go method that works quite well though. Each kid has a folder and I jot down cute things they’ve said, or put notes and artwork in there. Another thing I’ve started doing is scanning their notes and paintings and saving them on the computer so that I don’t have a huge physical pile. It saves space but also allows me to share their things with family and friends more easily.

My sister started a wonderful tradition that is not only an easy way to record memories, but one I think every parent should adopt. Each year on their birthdays, she goes off on her own to a coffee shop and writes a letter to her children. She writes about funny stories, accomplishments, and basically anything she wants them to know about what they were like at that age and stage of life. She then puts it away for them to read when they are older. Our children are our greatest blessing, so the idea of taking time out to write a tribute to them each year is just beautiful.

Like most things in life, balance and moderation seem to be the answer. That’s what I’ll keep telling myself tonight when my head hits the pillow and I try in vain to keep out thoughts of lost video footage.

We all know the saying “Carpe Diem” or “Seize the Day”, but while we try to live more in the moment and really soak it all in, perhaps we should also learn the Latin for “Back up Your Files”!

~ Jennifer

Archived from October, 2011.

Most have at least 10-15 grams of sugar, 5-7 grams of fat, and the second ingredient is almost always glucose/fructose. Cereal bars sound healthy, but they too are high in fat and sugar even though they offer whole oats and whole grain. Then there are “high fibre” bars. We all know fibre is healthy, but you might be surprised that sugar is listed as the number one ingredient. Nutritionist I am not, but the closest thing I’ve found to good nutritional value is Kashi brand. Unfortunately most have nuts so they aren’t suitable for school.

Aside from the kids, I’m also on the lookout for healthy on-the-go snacks for myself. Driving from class to class teaching Salsa Babies®, I need a quick boost before I hit the gym. As much as I try to “eat clean” according to fitness gurus such as Tosca Reno, I can’t seem to wrap my head around the idea of packing a cooler full of chicken breasts and broccoli. I make do with an apple and some almonds or a cheese string, but I’d love to find a convenient energy or nutrition bar with the right balance of protein, carbohydrates and fat (the good kind of course) – not too sweet or artificially flavoured, but still palatable.

I’m confused by the ads in fitness magazines with page after glossy page of gorgeous women promoting protein bars. The bods are perfect, the bars look tasty, but upon further inspection you find they are full of artificial flavours, palm oil, and hydrogenated coconut oil. Those hard-bodies in the ads don’t look to me like they eat hydrogenated anything! Please correct me if I’m wrong – Tosca, are you out there?

A personal trainer once gave me a fantastic granola bar recipe, but I hate to admit I don’t always have the time to make them from scratch. However, when staring at a bowl full of over-ripe bananas, I do squeeze in the time to make a batch of muffins rather than toss them in the trash. They freeze well so if I make a double batch I’ve got snacks covered for at least a week. Have any other advice? Please drop me a line!

Jen’s Healthy (and easy!) Banana Muffin Recipe:

1 C whole wheat flour

2 1/2 tsp baking powder

3/4 C rolled oats

1/4 tsp sea salt

1/4 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp vanilla

1 T honey

1/2 C skim milk

1 egg white

1 T canola oil

2 mashed bananas

3 scoops whey protein powder

3/4 C frozen blueberries

Combine dry ingredients. Add honey, milk, egg white, vanilla, oil and bananas. Stir just until dry ingredients are moistened. Add frozen blueberries and gently stir. Use non-stick or parchment-lined muffin pan. Bake at 400˚ for 20 min. (12 muffins) Enjoy!

~ Jennifer Torres

Archived from September, 2011.

It’s not to say that I hate cooking. I love to bake and I enjoy preparing a special meal for a dinner party. I just hate the day-to-day dinnertime chore. Luckily, the other week I received a little needed inspiration.

I never win anything, but then again I rarely enter anything, so I guess that makes sense. However, while at the grocery store checkout a few months ago, a display caught my eye. It was a contest to win a dinner party prepared by “The Three Chefs”. Anyone who watches CityLine knows them as Michael Bonacini, Massimo Capra and Jason Parsons. The prospect of having dinner taken care of for a night, never mind one prepared by three of Toronto’s top chefs and restaurateurs was extremely appealing. So much so that I was willing to add five minutes to my shopping expedition to fill out a ballot and answer the skill-testing question.

Unfortunately I did not win the dinner, but I did manage to win myself a copy of their cookbook “3 Chefs.” While the pictures look amazing, it’s been several weeks and I have only attempted one recipe so far. My daughter and I made Michael Bonacini’s Welsh cakes. They were very tasty, but it was more of a snack and did not solve my weekly dinner dilemma. However, what I have gotten out of the book so far is a more inspiring food revelation than any one dinner recipe could ever provide.

Along with their own personal comments about each recipe, the book also provides a brief background on each of the contributing chefs. One common thread I noticed was that each of them grew up either on a farm or in the country, surrounded by food in its rawest state. Somehow this environment seemed to have fostered a reverence and respect for food beyond just good taste. They have a greater appreciation for food and where it comes from – how it is both paired and prepared, and how to experiment in the kitchen with passion and personality.

In urban society today, most kids think chicken comes from the store on a shrink-wrapped styrofoam plate. Apples are perfectly red, round and shined to perfection in all their waxy glory, stacked in perfect pyramids, not a tree in sight.  And chocolate milk comes from brown cows, right?

Well, this summer my kids and I went berry picking and managed to awaken our inner chefs.  Just thirty minutes outside of the city, we entered a different world. We drove along the bumpy dirt road and could have followed our noses rather than the signs, to the sweet-smelling patches of strawberries. Each of my girls filled a bucket to the rim, but these weren’t the gigantic-yet-tasteless strawberries from the supermarket. They were far smaller and mostly misshapen but boy did they smell good! We couldn’t wait to get them weighed and washed so we could dig in. Before leaving the berry farm, we went to the little store full of fresh farm produce. Again, impressed by the aroma, I couldn’t resist buying enormous bunches of basil and cilantro. And there it was – bang! Just like that! I was actually inspired to make dinner that night! We had pasta with goat cheese, chicken, bell peppers, sundried tomatoes and fresh basil. Simple yet delicious!

The next night was tacos with soft corn tortillas, salsa and cilantro. Tacos are a common occurrence in our half-Mexican household, but the fresh cilantro kicked things up a notch and had my hubby feeling much closer to home.

The girls wasted no time washing their berries and then bombarding me with ideas of what we could make with them. We looked up recipes for “quick strawberry jam”. Suddenly the kitchen looked like a strawberry bomb had gone off. After each girl had made her own jam, the blender was going and red juice was flying everywhere as we made the necessary preparations for Martha Stewart’s strawberry popsicles.

We had such a wonderful day, and it ended with the grandparents doing a blind taste-test to guess which kid made the jam that was carefully stirred over low heat to perfection, and whose berries were mashed and sweetened beyond recognition with impatient exuberance. Somehow they guessed right – go figure!

I realized that the act of physically picking the strawberries ourselves made all of us excited about cooking. The sight and smell of the farm-fresh produce was irresistible and I could hardly wait to get in the kitchen. I’m sure that is the closest I’ll ever come to reaching the level of passion for food the three chefs possess. But it felt great to get a taste of their world (I use the word “taste” loosely – I wouldn’t be so bold as to suggest that my gastronomic attempts even came close to their regular works of art!)

While it might not be realistic to get to the farm every week, farmers markets are popping up everywhere. There is also the option of growing your own, whether you choose a full vegetable garden or simply a pot of rosemary on your balcony.  If you look around you’ll notice the trend is catching on. Former fashion designer for Calvin Klein, Jimmy Williams, has come out with a book called “From Seed to Skillet: A Guide to Growing, Tending, Harvesting, and Cooking Up Fresh, Healthy Food to Share With People You Love”

In the fashion industry they say that everything old becomes new again. It seems that going back to our grow-your-own “roots” (pardon the pun) is not only trendy, but tasty to boot!

– Jennifer

Archived from August, 2011.

That wrinkle didn’t bother me. I still felt young and like I had a lifetime ahead of me. However, some years and several wrinkles later, I’ve been forced to face other changes. I went to the dentist the other week and was told that my gums were receding as result of brushing too hard. At first I was not alarmed. After all, we live in a time where we can fix almost everything – Botox, implants, lasers, Zoom Whitening etc. To my unfortunate surprise, the dentist told me that my gums will never go back to normal, and that all I can do is prevent further damage.

The absolute finality of this hit me. When you’re a kid, if you chip a tooth you have another shot when your adult teeth come in. Get a bad hair cut and you know it will grow back. Unfortunately, as I learned too late, there are no second chances for receding gums. Here comes the life lesson I gleaned from a visit to the dentist…

Wrinkles, stretch-marks, spider veins, sagging body parts – motherhood takes a toll, but these days there always seems to be some magical cream or treatment or surgery that will restore us to our former glory. We hope like mad and pay through the nose for the possibility of reviving physical attributes changed from the effects of time. The problem is that it is time itself we should be focused on. Time is something we cannot replace, no matter what resources, money, or scientific discovery may come our way. We can’t get it back. We need to enjoy it rather than try in vain to erase it.

As parents, we are aware that spending time with our kids is important, and we spend a lot of time planning our lives. We have long discussions about sleep patterns, weaning, and potty training. We decide about schools, after-school activities and where to go for vacation. Swimming is a must, another language is a great asset, and from the time they’re babies we sock money away for post-secondary education. We teach them how to share, say “please” and “thank you”, how to shake hands and look someone in the eye – all those things that will help our children function in society and achieve their hopes and dreams.

However, my daughter reminded me recently that perhaps equally important are those things that we don’t plan. Just as they do at the end of every June, my kids brought home folders full of schoolwork they had done all year. I came across a piece that said “Families show love by…” and the kids had to fill in the blanks. My daughter’s reply was “dancing together”. Beneath the words was a drawing of my husband and me and our two daughters dancing. Without even asking, I knew the exact setting of her picture. She had drawn our family in the kitchen where we often have spontaneous dance parties after dinner.

At no point did my husband and I ever sit down and say, “When we have kids, let’s make a point of dancing with them in the kitchen after dinner”. It just happened, but I love it that that is something they think is special and will remember. The sound of music brings life and vitality into our home and they see that their dad and I love not only them, but each other. They see that life doesn’t always have to be so serious, and that it can be spontaneous.

This got me to thinking about the concept of leaving a legacy. What will I leave behind when I’m gone? What will my children and grandchildren know and remember about me? How am I using my time on this planet?

It may sound cliché but I know one thing for sure – when all is said and done it will not be about the money or the house or the car or the clothes or the career. Our kids won’t care if we had flawless skin or perfect teeth. They care about time spent together and the memories we make – the fun, the songs, the stories, the laughs and the love. Our day-to-day actions with all the silly impulses and random acts, the quirks that we’re not even aware of, are the things our kids will miss the most. You only get one shot, so cherish the gift of time with your children and leave a legacy of which you’ll be proud. As the co-owner of Salsa Babies®, it’s not a huge surprise that I love this analogy, but in the words of singer Lee Ann Womack, “I hope you dance!”

– Jennifer

Archived from July, 2011.

There are no excuses anymore! Electronic devices allow us to get more done in less time, so theoretically it shouldn’t be hard to fit in the important things in life, like spending time with our kids.

Unfortunately, sometimes the go-go-go of modern society has its drawbacks. Rather than having down-time, people are constantly tweeting, texting, surfing and blogging, but there is something to be said for having “nothing” to do once in a while. For my birthday this year, my husband kept asking what I wanted to do, and my answer was “Honestly? Nothing!” The idea of staying home without checking email all evening was a gift in itself.

The problem is that “high-speed” everything has taken over our lives. Kids and adults alike are entertained with Wii, Nintendo DS, and Netflix. We’ve forgotten what it means to “chill”. We need constant stimulation and instant gratification.

With all of this technology at our fingertips, I find it interesting that my favourite childhood memories are of being at my cottage. With not so much as a television, we kids spent the first day up there staring at the rectangular wall-unit heater, pretending it was a television and turning the knobs. After a day or two of withdrawal, we forgot about the make-shift “TV” and instead started playing cards, reading “Archie” comics, building forts, and swinging into the lake like Tarzan. We didn’t need any devices – we used our imagination and enjoyed being together without any distractions from the outside world. Roasting marshmallows or cooking breakfast on a campfire with our parents was the highlight of the holiday.

I once heard a boy complain to his dad that he was bored and there was “nothing to do”. The man’s reply was, “Don’t be ridiculous. Only stupid people get bored”. While a little harsh, he had a point. We’ve lost the ability to sit alone with our thoughts while waiting for a friend to arrive. Instead we push buttons on our “Crackberries” to fill the time. Even when people are out together, you see them emailing and texting, which begs the question – why are you with this person if you’d rather be communicating with someone else? We just can’t seem to stop or ever turn off.

I have to say that I am fairly disciplined in that I don’t check email on the weekends. I devote that time to my family and to letting myself re-charge. During the week is a different story though. I spend my days finding little slots of time here and there to get things done. The afternoon is generally my time to catch up on email and get my “office” work done, while the kids are in school and my Salsa Babies classes are done for the day.

The other day my daughter was home from school with a fever during my “work time”. She asked if she could watch a movie, so I got her all cozy and settled in front of the T.V. We were in the same room, and periodically she would ask if I was going to watch the movie with her. I said “Yes honey, I’m watching it with you”. I thought that as long as she could watch her movie, she would be content and wouldn’t mind me typing away on my laptop. She insisted and kept saying, “But Mommy, I thought you were going to watch it with me”.

I realized that it was very important to her that I stop multi-tasking and put all of my energy into being there with her.

I got the message loud and clear. We need to unplug. We need to spend time together that is really together. Our kids deserve our undivided attention once in a while, and we deserve the time out. Sitting there with my daughter in my arms and thinking about how important it was to her that I watch “Nanny MacPhee”, I realized that I had to make it a priority to slow down more often.

So, this summer when I’m on vacation, I hope you’ll bear with me when you get my “out of office” reply, as I won’t be answering email or phone calls. I’ll be busy roasting marshmallows.

– Jennifer

Archived from June, 2011.

Summer is fast upon us, which means lots of salads and fresh fruit, right? Sorry, but realistically when I look at my calendar and all the bar-b-cues and cottage weekends that are scheduled already, summer basically means hamburgers and ice cream as far as I’m concerned. Before we know it we’ll be buying back-to-school sweaters and the Mother of all eating holidays, Thanksgiving, is just around the corner.

As if turkey, stuffing and pumpkin pie weren’t bad enough, Halloween literally “creeps” up on us. Every year I swear I won’t let those bit-sized treats get the best of me. I’ve tried everything from leaving it in the car to buying the kind I don’t like, but inevitably “just one” turns into more than I care to remember. You can’t even wait and buy it at the last minute or you risk getting your house egged if the stores are sold out by then. Let’s face it, the kids are going to bring home a Reese Peanut Butter cup whether I buy them or not, and who doesn’t scavenge through the kids’ candy just a little?

Of course we crave more calories and comfort food as the weather gets colder, but add the office “holiday” parties and then the holidays themselves, and December is basically a month of eating. We then ring in the New Year with champagne and usually a cheese fondue, which launches the start of the “chocolate” holidays –  Valentines, Easter…you get the idea.

My trainer is the one who finally hit the nail on the head. After commenting to her that I manage to stick to my “healthy-eating-and-exercise” plan for a period of time, but then I’m hit with some event or another, and I go off the rails. She interrupted me and said, “So you’re an event eater”. I’d never thought of it that way, but she was right. When I added up all the events in a year, it was easy to see why I was having trouble staying on track.

In addition to the major holidays, I grew up in a home where we celebrated every holiday in a big way. I loved that part of my childhood, so I am trying to carry on those traditions with my own kids, which means pancakes on Pancake Day, green cupcakes for St. Patty’s (we’re 1/8^th Irish so that counts!), and so on. With our ever-expanding multicultural family we’ve added churros for Cinco de Mayo, latkes for Channukah, and samosas for just about any special occasion (note: all deep-fried delicacies!)

So what’s a mom to do? Well, I for one think that life is meant to be celebrated, so cutting back on events is not an option. The beauty of having kids is that you get to act like a kid again yourself. Maybe it means getting creative and not making every event about the food. It’s amazing the magic and excitement you can whip up with a trip to the dollar store and a bag full of tacky decorations!

Just being aware of my “event-eating” tendency has made a difference already. I don’t want to dread holidays or events because I’m afraid of the damage the eating will do. Instead I try to plan around them, so if I know they’ll be serving up pizza, chips and cake at a 2-year-old’s party on the weekend, I’ll either grab a bite before I go and forego the party food, or else I’ll make sure to skip my own Friday night pizza night at home that week.

Feeling deprived is never a good thing. I find that the thought of a diet leaves me horrified at thinking I’ll never be able to eat my favourite foods again. Instead of dieting, I enjoy my healthy food and workouts during the week, and save the treats for when it is really worth it. And I realized I don’t need to eat the whole thing to feel satisfied. Sometimes just a bite or two is all it takes. After a good long stretch of healthy eating, I find that I don’t have the same cravings anymore anyway. I’ll have a bite of what I used to consider a “treat”, and then realize it’s not really worth the calories.

At the moment, I’m eagerly anticipating (and salivating at the thought of) my anniversary dinner at our favorite Mexican restaurant where we go each year to celebrate. At times like that, when it is worth it, you need to enjoy what you’re eating and let go of the guilt. Go back to moderation and you will get back on track. Besides, you can guarantee there will be more of the same to look forward to when we do it all again next year!

– Jennifer

Archived from May, 2011.