Parenting is hard.

I get it. I’m the mother of two.

I have had my share of worries and stresses.

I have had internal battles with myself because I let my baby watch Baby Einstein before the age of two. I have lost sleep over the fact that my husband and I have argued in front of our kids. I have felt the guilt creep in as I have placed an order for two Happy Meals at McDonalds, making myself feel better because my children ordered apple slices instead of French fries.

Being a parent is hard.

But is it really as hard as we have allowed ourselves to believe?

Why have we let parenting become so complicated?

From before we even conceive we are stressing ourselves about every little tiny detail.

We plan out our natural birth.

We tell ourselves breast is best over and over until formula doesn’t even become an option anymore.

Don’t even think about co-sleeping, it’s not good for your marriage.

We can only feed our children organic snacks; processed and pre-packaged food is unhealthy and leads to childhood obesity.

No screen time. None. At all.

Our babies haven’t yet learned to walk and we are already reserving their spots in Montessori preschool.

The list goes on and on and on.

Why do we do this to ourselves as parents?

We are putting way too much pressure on ourselves and we are putting way too much pressure on our kids.

Somehow we have convinced ourselves that parenting is about controlling all the possible bad things that can happen to kids.

Somehow we have allowed the what if’s to take over.

What if we don’t sleep train our baby and they are never able to fall asleep on their own?

What if I let my baby crawl around on the floor by themselves and they get hurt?

What if I don’t teach my kids about numbers and colours and shapes and they can’t make it through kindergarten?

Things have gotten way out of hand.

There are absolutely some things that science and medicine and research has told us about babies and children. We know that it’s safest to put a baby to sleep on their backs. We know that babies have to be in car seats when travelling in a vehicle. We know that it’s good to read to babies and to talk to them and give them lots of love and cuddles.

We know all of these things and we do them.

But can we relax a little?

Can we stop obsessively watching our babies on their video monitors while they nap?

Can we stop beating ourselves up if we choose to formula feed our babies?

Can we stop trying to convince ourselves that if we don’t have the ultimate control over every second of our babies lives or if we make one bad choice that somehow it’s all going to spontaneously combust right in our face?

Stop for a second and think about how many times you wondered, just today, if you were messing up this whole parenting thing.

Now think about how many times you told yourself that you were actually a pretty good parent.

Truth is, if you love your baby and you take care of them, if you feed them and diaper them, if you bath your baby and cuddle them, and cover them in kisses then chances are you are doing just fine.

Let’s try and make it a little easier on ourselves. Stop and take a second today to remind yourself that you are a pretty good parent. Sometimes all we need is a little reminder.

But I enjoy it.

It both stresses me and relaxes me at the same time.

There is something about measuring and stirring that releases some tension.

Baking is something that I love doing with my kids.

If you want to test your patience try baking with little ones.

This holiday when discussing gifts for the kids teachers they decided that they wanted to bake.
While I love to bake, I’m more of a recipe follower than a recipe creator. I’m always on the lookout for easy, uncomplicated recipes that I can make with the kids.

If you are looking for last minute holiday gifts to share with teachers, neighbours, family friends or coworkers nothing beats homemade treats.

A couple of evenings spent baking together and we have a little something for teachers and their school bus driver.

I’m sharing with you a couple of my favourite recipes to make with my little ones.

The first recipe is Candy Cane Cookies. They are sweet and buttery and taste even better a day or two after they are made. I stole this recipe from The Kitchen Magpie.

INGREDIENTS

• 2½ cups of flour
• 1 tsp baking soda
• 1 tsp salt
• 1 cup of butter, softened
• 1¼ cups of white granulated sugar
• ¼ cup packed brown sugar
• 1½ tsp vanilla
• 1 egg
• ¾ cup of crushed candy cane

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Kick the tires and light the fires to 375 degrees.
2. Cream together your butter and sugar until it’s light and fluffy. Add in the egg and vanilla, mixing thoroughly. Beat in the flour, baking soda and salt.
3. When that is done, mix in the crushed candy cane.
4. Prepare parchment paper lined cookie sheets.
5. Roll a heaping tablespoon of cookie dough into a ball, 8 per cookie sheet.
6. Take a glass and using the bottom, flatten out each cookie. If the cookie sticks, start wetting the bottom of the glass with water, they will come right off.
7. Flatten each of them as much as you can. This is a dry dough – no sticky chewiness going on here- but it’s just wet enough to make perfect little flat cookie patties.
8. Bake at 375 for 9-11 minutes, until golden brown. Cool on the sheets completely.

The Second recipe that I would like to share with you is Cranberry Pear Loaf. This recipe is such a nice change from Banana Bread. I have a loaf pan that bakes four loaves at the same time and this recipe works perfectly. Wrapped up with some nice cellophane and ribbon it makes a fabulous gift.

I took this recipe from Parents Canada.

INGREDIENTS:

1/4 cup (60 mL) butter, softened
1/2 cup (125 mL) canola oil
1 1/4 cups (310 mL) sugar
3 large eggs
2 tsp (10 mL) vanilla
3 cups (750 mL) all-purpose flour, or half all-purpose, half whole wheat
1 tsp (5 mL) baking powder
1 tsp (5 mL) baking soda
1 tsp (5 mL) cinnamon
1/2 tsp (2 mL) salt
2 large pears, coarsely grated
1 cup (250 mL) buttermilk
2 cups (500 mL) fresh or frozen cranberries

DIRECTIONS:

1. Preheat the oven to 350˚F.

2. In a large bowl, beat the butter, oil, sugar, eggs and vanilla with an electric mixer for 2–3 minutes, until pale yellow and fluffy.

3. In a small bowl, stir together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon and salt. Add about a third to the butter mixture and beat on low speed until blended.

4. Add half the grated pears and half the buttermilk, then another third of the flour, the rest of the pears and buttermilk and the rest of the flour, stirring or beating on low speed just until combined.

5. Gently stir in the cranberries and scrape the batter into two 8 x 4-inch loaf pans or several mini loaf pans that have been sprayed with nonstick spray.

6. Bake for 1 hour (for larger loaves) or 30–40 minutes (for minis), or until golden and tops are springy to the touch. Cool completely in their pans on a wire rack.

Makes 2 large loaves or about 8 mini loaves.

Lastly nothing beats a good old fashioned peanut butter cookie. These cookies don’t last in my house. They are super easy to make and taste delicious. I took this recipe right off the back of the Peanut Butter jar but you can also find it on the Kraft website.

Ingredients

• 1 cup smooth peanut butter
• ½ cup of sugar
• 1 egg

Instructions:

• Mix all ingredients together
• Roll a spoonful of dough into a small bowl (if dough is too soft put in the fridge for about 10 minutes)
• Place on cookie sheet lined with parchment paper
• Bake for about 10 minutes at 350 degrees

The good thing about these recipes is that they are all easy. They don’t require weird and crazy ingredients. They are perfect recipes to try with kids!

They also make great gifts.

My kids are super excited to bring their treats to school and are really proud of themselves for doing all the baking.

When I was growing up the gift giving responsibility belonged solely to my parents. There weren’t grandparents or aunts and uncles nearby that showered us with presents. Every year my mother began saving for Christmas in January and each Christmas morning we had a ton of gifts under the tree.

Every year since becoming a parent, we are approached by family asking for inspiring ideas for Christmas gifts for our kids; everyone wanting to make sure they get something special for our kids.

The first few years this used to cause me an immense amount of stress.

I found it very difficult to coordinate between everyone. I worried about two family members getting the same gift. I worried that someone would be upset or feel angry or not be happy with the choices I gave them.

I spent much of the holiday season with a weight on my shoulders trying to figure out a way to please everyone.

Last Christmas I decided that I didn’t want to play gift coordinator any more.

Instead I started to shift my focus on what I wanted to give my kids for Christmas.

I refused to worry about what everyone else was getting and if they got two of the same gift then we could always exchange.

My shift in thinking allowed me to focus on my own children and what they really wanted for gifts. I stopped buying gifts just for the sake of buying a gift and started giving them things they really wanted and needed.

My Christmas shopping list for my kids now follows the something they want, something they need, something to wear, something to read and lastly something to do rule.

I know it’s a first world problem. We are very blessed and fortunate to have the means to give gifts to our children.

Christmas shopping has become fun again. With the stress gone I can relish in the magic.

This year I am anxiously awaiting Christmas morning. I can’t wait to see the looks on their little faces when they unwrap the presents they find under the tree; presents I chose just for them.

It’s my favourite part of Halloween. When the littlest trick or treaters come waddling up the stairs, in the puffy costumes and big puffy jackets not entirely sure what they are supposed to do once they get to the door.

I miss that stage.

The first Halloween that involved trick or treating for us involved a big fuzzy Giraffe costume. He looked so adorable in his little getup and I was so excited to pull him around our neighbourhood in his wagon as he took in all the kids in costume running through the streets. He toddled up each stairway, sometimes having to put his little orange pumpkin, where he was collecting his candy, down to push himself up to the next stair.

The neighbours gushed at how cute he looked as he showed me the candy that he had just scored.

We only went half way down the street before he had had enough and we knew it was time to head home. Truth be told I ate most of his candy since he forgot about it a couple of days later.

That Giraffe costume made another appearance in our Halloween repertoire a couple of years later when my daughter experienced her first trick or treating experience wrapped in its warmth. She had her big brother beside her showing her how it’s done.

I stood on the sidewalk while he helped her to the door and by the second house she was screeching, “Trick or treeeeeat,” before the door even opened.

We have had Giraffe’s, Gorilla’s, Spider Man and Wonder Woman (which was so good it was worn two years in a row!).

I really miss that stage.

My kids are now past the cutesy, warm and fuzzy costumes. My son is really into Halloween and loves anything scary and ghoulish. When costume shopping I have to remind him of how many little ones we have in our lives that might be scared by his particular choices. We finally settled on a Grim Reaper type thing.

My daughter has broken ground this year and let go of her biggest fear and is so excited to wear her witch costume; tall pointy hat and all.

I’ve traded in sweet for scary!

I know it’s inevitable. Kids grow. But Halloween really makes me miss the soft and cuddly days when I could choose their costumes.

So this year as my kids run from house to house, hopped up on sugar donning their spookiest attire I will stay home and hand out candy and be the neighbour who gushes at the toddlers waddling up my stairs in their teddy bear suits and paw patrol costumes. I will ooh and ahh and fawn over their cuteness. I will wait for my ghoulish children to bring their candy home and as soon as they are in bed I will sneak the peanut butter cups out of their stash.

You were desperate to move and figured out how to push yourself along the floor before you figured out how to get yourself up on your knees to crawl.

By age one you were walking. You had potty trained yourself by age two. You taught yourself to tie your shoes because you wanted to wear shoes with laces.

I watched you walk up the steps of the big yellow school bus and you barely turned around to look at me.

When I ask you to get a cup for your drink you have poured yourself water before I even turn around. Then you ask your Dad if he prefers sparkling or still as you prepare drinks for the whole family.

You are an independent, determined and helpful little girl.

You have started to close your bedroom door when you’re changing and you whisper secrets to your friends while you play.

You continue to amaze me every single day.

When bedtime rolls around and you ask me to sleep with you for just five minutes sometimes I get annoyed.

I’m sorry for that. You see sometimes I get caught up in the mundane tasks for motherhood. When you ask me to sleep with you my mind is racing with all the things that wait for me downstairs. Lunches to pack, laundry to fold, emails to answer. When you ask me to sleep with you sometimes I tell you that you’re a big girl and you can sleep on your own.

What I forget is that you’re still so little.

I’m reminded when I finally drag myself, exhausted upstairs to bed and I see that you have snuck into my bed. Your tiny body lost in the duvet and pillows of our king size bed. When I slide under to covers beside you and you let out a sigh, snuggle in close and wrap your little arms around my neck I’m reminded that you’re not such a big girl. You’re fingers are so tiny, your feet still so small. You still sleep like a baby; all restless and sweaty. Your dreams cause you to cry out in your sleep and desperately search for your mother.

I’m reminded of how little you are in the early morning quiet when you tiptoe out of your room, rubbing the sleep from your eyes and ask me for a cuddle. As I sweep you growing body up into my arms and we sit on the stair or the stool or the end of your bed I relish in the sweetness of the moment. I inhale your familiar scent and your warmth seeps into the very depth of me and I’m reminded that you are still so little.

You are so capable of doing whatever you set out to do. You don’t want anyone to do anything for you and when you struggle with something you keep at it until you get it. You are growing up so fast and every day I learn something new about you, every day I am proud to be your mother.

It’s because of this independence that I forget you really are still just a little girl, my little girl. Sometimes I just need a gentle reminder of it so that I can enjoy your littleness for just a moment more.

That was the plan until my son was born with health issues and had to be formula fed.

I was devastated but there was no other option.

When my daughter came along I knew I was going to give it another go and she took to the breast like fish to water. The first few days went so smoothly that the nurse in the breastfeeding class used me as an example.

I smiled proudly from my high horse.

Until I was knocked right off.

By the time we came home from the hospital that easiness gave way to cracked bleeding nipples, blocked milk ducts and a lot of tears.

She cried for the breast every two hours. I found myself desperately needing a break; just a few hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Every single time she fed my eyes filled with tears, the pain was almost unbearable.

I didn’t want to give up.

I went to breastfeeding classes, I set up weekly appointments with a lactation consultant and I talked to other breastfeeding mothers at the mom and baby groups that I went to.

I worked really hard at it.

With time we fell into a groove. We found our flow and with each day it became a little easier.

I am proud of the fact that I breastfed my baby.

I’m almost afraid to say that I’m proud of breastfeeding my baby because I don’t want anyone to feel that I am judging them for not.

I believe that fed is best and each and every mother should do what works best for them.

I have one formula fed baby and one breastfed baby and both of them are smart, kind, loving and healthy children.

Yet I am still proud of the fact that I breastfed my baby and I think that’s ok.

It was hard. It took a lot of work and dedication. In the moment it wasn’t something that I loved doing but I felt it was what was best for my daughter and I worked really hard to do it.

The fact that I am proud of my breastfeeding journey does not mean that I judge any mother for formula feeding or pumping or making any other choice to ensure the health of their family; both their own health and their baby’s health.

As mothers, we all want what’s best for our children. That looks different for each of us and we are all just trying to figure out which path we should walk.

My path wasn’t easy but I had a goal in mind and I put in a lot of work to achieve that goal.

My breastfeeding journey wasn’t without struggle but it was beautiful and though I never thought I would say this, I miss it.

I’m hitting my middle aged years.

As I begin to hit these middle aged years my life is changing. It’s no longer about what’s happening on Friday night. We already know what’s happening each and every Friday night. Soccer practice and bedtime, that’s what’s happening every Friday night.

Paycheques now have to be stretched a little thinner; they have to take care of four people now instead of just two. Now we have to think about RRSP’s and RESP’s and we have life insurance…that we have to pay for. We have moved on from carefree days to practical and safe.

The one, and probably the most important thing that we has not been checked off of our practical adult to do list is who will be guardian of our children if something were to happen to us.

Just the thought sends shivers up my spine. I don’t want to even imagine not being around for my children as they grow up. Yet if I really want to be practical and make sure my kids are taken care of in case the worst and most unlikely situation should occur, I really should have it all laid out in writing.

We had both of our children baptised as babies and named Godparents for each of our children. The traditional purpose of a Godparent is to be a part of a child’s religious education and also to take care of the child if something does occur to the parents.

In our case we chose Godparents for our children based on different reasons and being guardians to our children might not be in their plans.

My husband and I have analyzed the options and luckily we are pretty much on the same page, which still leaves us in the unfortunate predicament of not being sure of who to name as guardians.

The most obvious choice would be siblings and we both have brothers who love our children and would make excellent caregivers if we weren’t able to care for them. But one lives across the country and the other isn’t in a place in his life where children would fit in yet.

We have friends that, again, I know would do a lovely job raising our children. Yet as close as we may be to some of our friends, I can’t help but feel as though our children should be with family.

Both of our parents would not hesitate to take our kids in, however they are getting older and with their child rearing days so far behind them I don’t know how they would start over. Not to mention, our kids would get away with murder if they lived full time with their grandparents; it would be milk and cookies and no bedtime for the rest of their lives!

I guess the tricky part of this decision is that you are trying to find a replacement for yourselves and no one is you. You have to try and focus on who you think will love your child as their own, who will care for them as you would, who would raise them with the same values and belief system that you would want for them.

Hopefully this is something that will never ever have to be put in place. I still think it’s something that should be given a lot of thought and consideration and should be indicated in a legal form. If anything to ease your own mind.

Have you named guardians for your children? If so, what factors did you take into consideration?

Until now.

I learned, through trial and error, that she will happily eat a smoothie bowl first thing in the AM.

Smoothie bowls are essentially exactly the same as a smoothie except a little thicker so you eat them with a spoon rather than drink it.

I’m not sure if it’s the novelty of eating a smoothie with a spoon or if it’s just her love for what she considers a cool treat but I’ll take it.

I’ve never really liked the idea of drinking my breakfast so smoothie bowls have been amazing for me.

The best part of a smoothie bowl breakfast is that you can technically change it up every day. Use different fruits or add different toppings on top, you’ll never get bored!

This is our favourite recipe:

1 cup of frozen fruit (we love berry blends)
¼ cup of milk ( any type will do, regular milk, almond milk, coconut milk)
½ a banana
1 tsp of honey
1 tbsp of peanut butter (optional)

Blend in a blender and put in a bowl. Top with your favourite toppings.

I love topping it with berries, sliced banana, a handful of walnuts and shredded coconut.

You can easily change up the flavour of this smoothie simply by changing up the fruit, the milk or even by replacing the honey with a splash of maple syrup. Change up the toppings; sliced fruit, different type of nuts, chia or hemp seeds, the options are endless.

Smoothie bowls have saved my morning struggle. I know that my daughter will start her day with something in her tummy. It has become a go to breakfast on these hot summer days in this house and that makes me happy.

I guarantee for many of you, teething will be high up on the list. Cranky, fussy babies are never fun. Some babies aren’t able to sleep through the pain while others sleep longer. Some babies go on feeding strikes and refuse to nurse or take a bottle. Don’t even mention the never ending drool.

Every baby has different symptoms.

My babies were a little more needy when they were teething. They just needed a little extra love and care. Sometimes a fever would appear and sometimes not.

I spent many nights online googling, “how to ease baby teething pain?” and tried method after method.

Some of the suggestions may not be the safest options out there; did anyone’s grandparents ever recommend rubbing your babies gums with whiskey? Then there are new school methods that some mothers swear by such as amber teething necklaces, which actually have no scientific proof backing up the efficacy and can actually be quite dangerous.

It can be super overwhelming when as a parent, you are just desperately trying to find a way to make your little one better.

Teething rings work wonders as do anything that’s cold and offers babies something to chomp down on.

We used to put frozen fruit in a baby safe feeder and let our little guys bite down. It was our most successful teething tool. Both of our babies seemed to find intense relief from the pain with this easy to do trick.

Google “Baby teething” and you will happen upon thousands of websites offering tips and tricks to make it easier on your little ones.

Talk to your doctor about the safest and most successful teething options.

Visit your local pharmacy and stock up on baby pain reliever or even homeopathic remedies such as Camilia.

Yet don’t forget the simple home remedies like cold teething rings, frozen washcloths and my personal favourite, frozen fruit in a baby safe feeder.

I remember, right when we were at the peak of teething pain, I read an article stating that adults would have a difficult time handling the pain that comes with teething and it broke my heart. My little guy had been struggling for months. He was crying in pain and remained attached to my hip until that pearly white made its first appearance.

It was only after trying different pain relievers, giving him multiple teething rings and massaging his gums with washcloths that we discovered the magic of frozen fruit. And from that point on our baby feeder became our most prized possession.

Teething can often times be the most frustrating time of the baby years. Talk to your mom friends and most importantly your doctor about pain relief methods for your little ones. There is no reason your baby has suffer.

In the meantime, enjoy the extra loving cuddles that are coming in your direction as sometimes just a loving mom cuddle can make the process so much easier.

But it felt long. It feels like we have been cooped up in the cold, dark and damp forever.

I am beginning to see the light.

The sun is starting to rise a little earlier and go down a little later.

I am beginning to be leave the windows open, at least during the day.

I have been out on walks, bike rides and even on rollerblades!

We are finally saying goodbye to winter.

I love that I live in a country with four seasons.

In my younger years I used to dream of moving to a warm sunny tropical destination. I felt that maybe I wasn’t cut out for the cold Canadian winters.

As I get older I am learning to appreciate the four seasons. The freshness of a cool, crisp autumn day. The liveliness of a warm spring morning. The sun beating down on my face in the heat of the summer and yes even the beauty of freshly fallen snow in the middle of January.

The best part about being a mother is getting to relive some of the fun of my childhood and getting outside is one of the ways I do that.

I am managing to find something that gets me outside, if even for a little bit, during each season.

I am going to be the first to admit, I am so grateful that spring has finally arrived. I need the brightness and warmth of the sunshine. I need to feel a breeze that doesn’t blow right through me. The birds chirping are bringing me a sense of peace. The smell of freshly cut grass is making me so happy.

I spent about two hours yesterday afternoon rollerblading around my neighbourhood with my son. We giggled and chatted. My heart pounded in my chest as I caught myself from falling about a dozen times. I watched with pride as my son got better and better with each push of his foot. We bonded, him and I.

My kids have shown me a new appreciation for the outdoors. It makes me feel like a kid again and I have my own children to thank for that.

So today, I am happy to be able to spend some time playing outside with my kids. I am thankful that we are saying goodbye to winter and hello to the new beginnings of spring.

Get out there and enjoy the sunshine and warm spring breezes. Smell the beautiful flowers bursting out of the ground and listen to the songs of the birds in the trees. Live in the moment because, as we all know, it won’t be long before Old Man winter wakes from his slumber.