New moms can feel overwhelmed when it comes to calming down a fussy newborn. There are many things that can cause a baby to be discontented and it is often a tenuous time of trial and error when it comes to getting him settled down. Babies feed off of mom’s emotions so the first step to helping diffuse his discomfort is to stay calm. The next time you feel frazzled; try one of these eight tips:

Get plenty of sleep – Sleep deprivation can make our tempers short and make our patience level shrink.  Ask your partner to take some of the middle of the night feedings so you can get a full night’s rest.

Try to relax – Take deep cleansing breaths. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth to expel negative energy. Hold your baby close so he feels the rise and fall of your chest. The baby’s natural response will be to match your breathing pattern. As you feel your baby relax, your anxiety level will dissipate.

Positive self-talk – Create a mantra to silently repeat it to yourself to remind yourself that you are in control. Use positive words like, “I am strong, I am calm.” Try until you find words that really resonate with you. Repeating this phrase will help you feel centered.

Use visualization – Create a stress-free zone in your mind. Perhaps it’s a warm sunny day on the beach or a hike in the mountains. Finding a happy place to go to when your baby is fussy can help you cope in a more positive manner. Focus on the details of the environment such as the sights, smells and sounds.

Walk away – If you feel tense and at the point of breaking, put the baby in his crib and walk away. Close the door and walk down the hall. Put a pillow to your face and scream or do some jumping jacks to release the stress before your cork pops. Count to 10 before you go back to his room to pick him up.

Ask for help – You’re not the only person who has dealt with a baby who cries incessantly. Ask a seasoned mom for tips that worked for her. Knowing you have someone to talk to makes the situation more manageable.

Go for a drive – Driving can have a calming effect on you and your baby. Sometimes a change of routine will help you cope with a fussy baby. Play some calming music and focus on the road. Diverting your attention can help you relax and more able to calm your baby. The vibrations from the car can also help soothe a gassy baby.

Journal – Keep a journal of how you’re feeling and how your baby is reacting to you. Check for patterns in behavior and if you have concerns talk to your doctor.

One of the biggest challenges a new mom faces is figuring out how to get enough rest after coming home from the hospital, yet it is one of the best things a new mom can do for herself. Be proactive by making it a priority to get enough rest (nap when he naps), you will feel more equipped to soothe your fussy baby. Having tools in your toolbox like asking for help or walking away can also make you feel more empowered as you learn how to meet your baby’s needs.

About Jennifer Chung & Kinsights:

Jennifer Chung is a parenting expert and co-founder of Kinsights.com: part parent advice sharing community, part online health record. Kinsights provides parents with a safe place to seek answers to their questions while also helping them track their child’s health information. Organize your child’s growth and developmental milestones, immunizations, medications, allergies, and more.  Connect with Kinsights at www.kinsights.com to learn more and sign-up! You can also follow them on Facebook and Twitter (@kinsights).

Older pets – If you have an older pet who is dealing with ongoing health issues, plant the seed that animals age and will eventually die. If your pet is suffering, consider putting together a plan for euthanizing.  Managing how the pet dies can be comforting for kids.

Use words like “death” and “dying” to your kids.  Walk them through the process:

• The vet will give him a shot
• He will go to sleep
• His heart will stop beating

Avoid saying the pet just went to sleep.  Kids can be very literal and develop misconceptions about people going to sleep and not waking up.

Victim of an accident – If your pet died in an accident it is important to convey:

• The vet did everything he could to save the pet
• Due to his injuries, the pet would only suffer if he were kept alive
• Letting him go was the kindest thing that could be done for him
• The pet died without feeling pain or being scared

How to tell kids of different ages about the death of a pet.

2 – 3 year olds don’t have a lot of life experience to draw on to fully understand death.  Keep it simple. Tell them the pet died and won’t be coming home. Reassure them it wasn’t their fault.  They will copy your emotions and behavior. It is good to cry and model grieving for them, but keep things controlled.  Children at this age normally accept the death easily.

4-6 year olds usually understand the concept of death, but may not totally grasp its permanence.  They may feel that past anger toward the pet was responsible, so it’s important to tell them how the pet died.  Some kids may regress to having potty accidents, difficulty sleeping or lack of appetite.  Allow your child to discuss his feelings and reassure him it’s normal to grieve.  Encourage him to draw pictures, write stories and even hold a memorial service.

7-9 year olds understand that death is irreversible.  They are curious and may ask questions that appear morbid.  These types of questions are normal and should be addressed honestly.  They may manifest their grief through clingy behavior, aggression or even through problems at school. Reassure them they did not doing anything to contribute to the death of the pet.

10-11 year olds understand that the circle of life and death is a natural process.  They usually exhibit their grief in ways they have seen their parents deal with it in the past.  The death of a pet can spur memories of precious losses, allow your kids to talk through it.  Reassure them this is normal.

Teens generally will react in ways adults do.  If their friends and family are supportive of the loss they typically will do fine.  Hormones can play a part in how they handle grief, one day they may appear unaffected and the next they may feel wrought with grief.

Young adults may feel guilt for moving away to college or getting married.  They may take the loss harder than expected as they may feel bad for not being there to say goodbye.

Help them grieve – Don’t hide your own sadness about the loss of the pet.  Kids of all ages will go through a range of emotions after the death, from sadness to loneliness, and maybe even anger. Give them freedom to express their pain. Comfort them and validate their feelings.

Find special ways to remember their pet. Younger kids may find comfort in holding a memorial service.  Allow them to write a speech to share how special this pet was to them and share good memories.  Planting a tree or plant in their honor will keep the memory alive.

Buying a new pet – There is no right or wrong time to get a new pet.  Everyone deals with grief in their own way and it is important to complete the grieving process before bringing a new pet into the home.  The time will be right when you feel like your family can look forward to building a new relationship with a pet and not constantly look back at the previous relationship.

Things to consider when getting a new pet:

• Don’t think of the new pet as a “replacement” for your previous pet.  Think of him as a new pet with whom your family will build a new relationship.
• Don’t get a look-a-like pet.  Try a different sex, breed or one who has different markings.  Having a pet that looks similar may set the expectation they he will have the same personality.
• Involve the entire family when choosing the new pet.  Be sure everyone is ready to take on the responsibility.  Take into consideration other pets in the family and if they are ready to welcome a new member into the home.

Pets become a part of the family over time.  Kids grow deep attachments to their furry friends and letting go can take time.  Death and dying is never easy to discuss, be compassionate when breaking the news and allow them to control the dialogue.

About Jennifer Chung & Kinsights:

Jennifer Chung is a parenting expert and co-founder of Kinsights.com: part parent advice sharing community, part online health record. Kinsights provides parents with a safe place to seek answers to their questions while also helping them track their child’s health information. Organize your child’s growth and developmental milestones, immunizations, medications, allergies, and more.  Connect with Kinsights at www.kinsights.com to learn more and sign-up! You can also follow them on Facebook and Twitter (@kinsights).

1. Read with your kids- Parent involvement is the number one predictor of early childhood reading success and future academic achievement.  Kids learn from parental modeling.  Starting a daily reading ritual for pre-kindergarten kids is vital for developing a child’s love for reading.  Kids who own 100 or more books tend to be more ready to tackle academic challenges.  Using books with pop outs help stimulate imagination and make reading fun.  Before getting started, read the title and ask your child to make a prediction of what the story is about.  Point to words and pictures as you read to helps kids make the correlation between the story and the illustrations.  Read with enthusiasm and energy by changing pitch and intonation to punctuate the story and character’s voice. Follow up each story by asking questions to ensure they understood the story and can relate it to another story or personal experience.  The love of reading is partially developed by relating stories to real life.
2. Set technology limits- Set a predetermined amount of time for kids to plug in to technology (including TV) each day.  Replace TV and gaming time with daily reading rituals by scheduling reading time for your kids each day.  Reading on an e-reader is good, but be sure kids have an appreciation for traditional books too.  Shared reading time with the family as well as individual reading time reinforces good reading habits.  Reading with good comprehension sets kids up for success in all of their other subjects like social studies, math and science.
3. Help kids create a reading list- It’s important to keep your child’s reading level in mind when helping him choose a good book to read.  Use your intuition when asking him questions about what he wants to learn about, who he’d like to meet or what he wants to be when he grows up.  All of these things make a good list of things to read about.

   For infants and toddlers, choose books with bright colorful pictures and familiar objects.  Cardboard or washable fabrics prevent little hands from getting too excited and ripping pages. Books that appeal to their senses and explore different textures will be fast favorites.  Poems and rhymes are fun for parents to recite over and over again.

   Preschoolers love illustrations that are colorful and engaging.  Short stories that have simple plots and actions to follow will hold their short attention spans.  Stories that are about everyday life can help them explore their world and stories about how things work will help them learn new concepts.  Characters that are about the same as age as your child will help him relate to the character and take an interest in the story line.

   Choosing books for young readers, up to age 11, take on a new dimension.  They enjoy stories that take several days to read.  They also like to read more in-depth versions of their childhood favorites.  They still enjoy illustrations and photos, especially in “how- to” books.  By this time, your child may have developed favorite authors, so reading other books in a series by the same author is a good strategy.

   Adolescents like to read books with characters that are facing similar teen related challenges in their lives.  Novels that take them to faraway places and times can foster their love for science fiction or history.  Biographies, folktales and mythology can be good options too.

4. Set content guidelines- It is totally fitting for parents to monitor what their kids read.  Just like television and movies, it is reasonable to consider that parents wouldn’t want their kids to engage in books with vulgar language, sex, violence or drugs.  It is also important to only allow kids to read material that is age appropriate.
5. Screen for learning disabilities like dyslexia- Kids who don’t like to read, typically don’t have good reading skills.  This could be because reading wasn’t part of their early childhood experience, therefore, they don’t appreciate the value reading could have in their lives.  It is important for parents to delve deeper into the reasons their kids don’t like to read.

   If kids find reading boring, it could be that they only read school assignments that don’t tap into their interests.  Finding books that are more in alignment with their hobbies or interest might help them enjoy reading more.

   Some kids find reading difficult or tedious.  That is could be related to how they learned to read.  Check in with his teacher and see if there are learning disabilities like dyslexia involved or if a tutor could help get them up to speed.  Poor reading skills can lead to kids falling behind in school at not liking school.

   Kids like to know that things are relevant to their lives and some kids haven’t made the correlation between books and real life.  Finding books that tie into their hobbies, interests or aspirations can help improve their interest in reading.

Reading opens up new worlds for kids. Stories can take their imaginations to foreign lands and spark an interest in travel, culture and adventure.  Reading biographies can provide positive role models and inspire kids to excel in sports, academics and service.  Give your kids the gift of reading by making it fun and exciting.

Jennifer Chung is a parenting expert and co-founder of Kinsights.com: part parenting community, part online health record. Kinsights provides parents with a safe place to seek answers to their questions while also helping them track their child’s health information. Organize your child’s growth and developmental milestones, immunizations, medications, allergies, and more.  Connect with Kinsights at www.kinsights.com to learn more and sign-up! You can also follow them on Facebook and Twitter (@kinsights).