When you first become a parent you go a little overboard with the ‘essentials.’ The bouncers, the bottles, the bumbos, the ‘stuff!’

As your kids grow, the stuff that you thought was so important dwindles … there’s still ‘stuff’ but now it’s THEIR stuff, the stuff they can’t live without … the dolls, the toys, the crafts, the crayons.

But you also learn about the ‘stuff’ that makes a big difference for you as a parent. The day to day stuff that make a difference in your life, that actually makes your life a little easier.

For us we have a small but crucial list:

• the crib rail: we’re not sure when we are ever going to get rid of these. Maybe when they’re 15. The peace of mind knowing that we likely won’t hear a ‘thud’ from them falling out of bed in the middle of the night is enough reason for us to keep them up.
• their blankies: I know I had one when I was a kid and the girls have had theirs since they were born. It’s a comfort that they use at nighttime and when upset and we don’t have plans of getting rid of them anytime soon.
• their little ‘magic’ unicorn stuffed animals. These are essential (because of their magical powers) for getting rid of bad dreams.
• air purifier: we crack these out at the start of cold and flu season. We use a Germ-guardian that plugs into the wall. It somehow uses UV light to zap germs in the air to help combat cold and flu season.
• Quality essential oils: this is something that I’m new to, but whenever the girls have sniffles or snuffy noses, I just drop the oils on their feet and in their humidifier and it helps with their symptoms.
• Humidifier: even with a built-in humidifier in our home it is extremely dry. We have a humidifier in our room and the girls room and we use them year round.
• Blackout blinds: we will NEVER be getting rid of these! In fact, we even have them in our room too! Totally worth the money to help us all get a few extra zzzz’s.
• Flashlights: the girls don’t like having a nightlight, but they do like their flashlights. We hang them on their bedposts and when they need them (if they’re afraid or want to read/play in bed for a few extra minutes).

And last, but not least …

• Sammy the sleep sheep: what is this? This is probably the best $80 I ever spent! At about 4-years old our girls started going through a phase where they would wake up, not know what time it was, stay in their beds and scream at the top of their lungs to us in the other room “IS IT MORNING TIME YET???” They wouldn’t get out of bed, instead, they would just lay there screaming until we answered them.
• I found a bunch of toddler clock options, but which one to choose? We actually purchased another one and returned it because the nightlight was way too bright even on the lowest setting.
• We then found Sammy! He’s a little clock shaped like a sheep who closes his eyes at bedtime and opens them when it’s time to wake up (you set this time). His clock face dims or turns off entirely during the nighttime and turns green 30 minutes before it’s ‘morning time.’ Since getting Sammy the girls know exactly when it’s morning time and just play in their beds until Sammy says it’s time to get up.

*note: I have not been paid by any of the companies/products above, these are just things that work for us.*

You know when they say “don’t wish time away because before you know it they’ll be grown.” I actually took heed when people said this … even on those seemingly impossible days. I was running on empty in terms of sleep and patience … even then, I made a conscious effort not to wish them away. Because as people warned, in no time we’d be asking “weren’t they just babies yesterday?”

Now they’re in Junior Kindergarten! How are they old enough to be in school? To wear backpacks bigger than they are? To make sure they eat all of their lunch and pack it back into their lunch bag? To zip up their own zippers and pull on their own boots? Well to my surprise they were ready. I mean really ready. No tears, barely kissed me goodbye and when they come home guess what they play?… school!

We always want to raise strong children. Smart, healthy little beings who are able to adapt to any situation…and then when it happens a little part of you aches for them to want you, to need you. And it’s not that they don’t, but NOW what do I do? I think I’M the one who wasn’t ready.

I quit my career to be home with them. For all but 6 months of their 4.5 years I was with them day in and day out. It was me and them against the world. It still is, but now I’ve sent them out into the world to learn, to grow and I’m left here…to have a hot coffee and uninterrupted conversations. Which is glorious! But I miss them terribly.

Even the dog misses them. When he hears a child yell at the park his ears perk up and he has to do a double-take to see if it’s ‘his girls’.

I do find now that when they’re home and come to me for something; to help them colour, to read a book, to ask a question, I make more time to do these little things. Things that might not seem important on the surface, but I now think about the innocence of it rather than as an interruption. All I can think about is that they’re coming to me because they love me, they trust me, they look to me for guidance, and now that they’re learning about the world from others, I’m going to hold tight onto any moments I have to help shape them.

So trust me when I say; in those moments of chaos, of frustration, of sleep deprivation … don’t wish time to pass too quickly. In the blink of an eye, even though you see your little baby walking through the doors of the classroom for their very first time, the reality is that they grew into a big kid overnight.

We talked up giving their soothers to Santa’s baby reindeer for six months…half of a year! And within two nights they weren’t even mentioned! Almost four-years of having something that they relied on night after night was over in 48-hours. How is that even possible?

And that was just the beginning!

That same week they also decided that they no longer needed their Pull-Ups during the night.

We had our sneaky routine down pat: we would put them to bed in their regular underpants and about two-hours later we would carry them to the toilet for a sleepy-pee. We would then slip on their pull-ups and that would be it until morning.

Well that all changed very quickly: Our one daughter who had never woken up with dry pull-ups started complaining that they were bothering her, she refused to let us change her even as she was half asleep. So we just kept her regular underpants on and boom! She woke up dry! It’s been a week now and (knock on wood) she’s only had one accident! Our other daughter has been waking up dry for months but I just figured that we would transition them at the same time. Well silly me…apparently I was the one who needed the transition period, not them!

And last but not least…my beloved nap time.

I somehow managed to get my girls to love naps as much as I do for almost four-years!  I know, that’s a long time for toddlers to keep their naps, but I loved it … and so did they. Until they didn’t!

Once bedtime started getting pushed back to about 10:30 night after night we knew it was time for a change.

These days; naps might happen, they might not, it just depends on the day, how they’re feeling and what we have going on. And I have to admit that it’s kind of nice. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good 20-minute power nap, but now I feel like I can get so much more accomplished in a day!

I just can’t believe how quickly these three important things just changed in the blink of an eye. I look at my ‘babies’ and realize that they’re not so little anymore. Oh and did I mention that we just registered them for Kindergarten.  *sigh*

Hold them tight and try not to wish the time away, when they say that it flies by they aren’t kidding.

My husband and I were fine with it, I always figured that whatever made them happy is what we would go with. I sucked my thumb as a baby so I had no clue what our girls would use for comfort.

From birth until they were just shy of their fourth birthday they used the same brand of soothers…we bought new ones over the years but it was always the same, NICU grade soothers. They loved them…and so did we.

We knew that the time would come though that they (and we) would have to part with them.

When the girls went to their first appointment at the dentist we were told “they need to be gone before their fourth birthday.” No problem…lots of time. Or was it?

We had a brief moment where the girls thought it would be a good idea to give their soothers to their new baby cousin. They handed them right over without a second thought and walked away…until bedtime. That’s when they realized the error of their ways and the magnitude of their decision. When one of them found a soother I had missed hidden in their bed, thank goodness I had a ‘backup one’ downstairs for our other daughter!

After that incident, my husband and I became well aware of the fact that, if these things were going to go, it would have to be well understood and well established for it to be successful.

We started talking about Santa and Christmas and the baby reindeer near the end of the summer.  We suggested that maybe the girls, since they’re such big girls now, would want to give their soothers to Santa’s baby reindeer.  They thought that was the best idea ever!

We toyed with bringing the soothers in a little gift bag when we went to see Santa at the mall, but my husband was quick to point out that the girls are already nervous enough to see the man in red, so having them hand over their soothers might be a bit traumatizing. He was right.

So we decided to hold onto them until the New Year, once Santa was safely back to the North Pole. We had the girls write Santa’s address on their envelopes, kiss their soothers and seal them up. Daddy then went and ‘mailed’ them to the North Pole and Santa surprisingly left them a little replacement toy under their pillows that night with a note.

There were still some sniffles and tears with the girls rotating nights of who “missed their soose.” But after some comforting words explaining that we understood that they were sad, reassuring them that it was okay to feel that way, and telling them how proud we are of them, within two nights it had become the new normal.

For our girls using the ‘rip the bandaid off’ technique never really works, but if we’ve found that if we explain it clearly, give them notice and even mention Santa’s baby reindeer anything’s possible.

So when I became a parent and we finally felt ready to leave the girls with someone other than the grandparents, I thought there would be a multitude of babysitters to choose from. I was very surprised to realize that this wasn’t the case. I’m sure they’re out there, but all of our friends have kids the same age as ours so finding teenagers ready and willing to babysit proved to be a tougher task than expected.

We actually lucked out when we got to know our neighbours a little better. They had a very reliable, trustworthy teenage daughter who’s great with kids. We introduced her to the girls and they’ve loved her ever since. She’s been watching them for a couple of years now but her life has gotten busier with school and work and our new schedules demand some later weeknight shifts at times. We realized that we needed to find another trustworthy babysitter to help out on occasion.

But how do you go about finding someone to watch your kids sight unseen? They’ll be responsible for the most important things in our world! Putting out an ad seemed too risky and impersonal. Going on those online sites seemed great but had me second guessing. A personal reference was what I was hoping for; someone trustworthy referred to me by a friend.

Thankfully I got it…a couple of personal referrals actually, which was a huge weight off my shoulders!

We met with one of the new babysitters and the girls instantly took to her, which was a huge relief! It’s already tough enough just to figure out a way to juggle our schedules, let alone trying to find someone who is the perfect fit for our girls and us.

We’ve got a lot of back up options in place from family to neighbours, but finding someone who we trust, who is able to come to our house and work with our changing schedules has us feeling like a huge weight to be lifted off our shoulders.

Becoming a parent is a whirlwind not to mention overwhelming! And I don’t mean JUST because we are now responsible for these little human beings that we love more than anything in the world. Sure, that’s a lot to take in…but I ALSO mean because of the amount of STUFF that comes with them!

The stuff! OMG the STUFF! It’s easy to get overwhelmed and carried away when making that dreaded registry.

But what do you REALLY need? I mean REALLY?? Do you need an infant bathtub? How about a wipe warmer? There are so many things these days the we never had growing up and some of them are here for a reason and some…well…aren’t.

I know I have my own personal list of, “What was I thinking?” items but I also asked some of my other mommy friends to help out. It was actually pretty interesting to see how many items made the “NEED” and “DON’T NEED” list and also interesting that some items made it onto BOTH :

ITEMS YOU CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT:

• A good carrier/wrap. Don’t cheap out on these or else you won’t use it because it will be awkward and uncomfortable (I know this from personal experience).
• Baby Breza. This is basically a Tassimo for formula. This is one thing you won’t know if you’ll need until you figure out if breast or formula is the right move for you and your baby(ies), but I can tell you form my personal experience I WISH it had existed when my twins were newborns.
• I couldn’t have survived the first year without swings for the twins!
• A good pump. Look into renting one that’s hospital grade.
• Breastfeeding pillow. I got my Brest Friend double pillow and it was helpful even though I struggled for other reasons with breastfeeding.
• Stroller cover for rain/winter
• Wet bags (for when accidents happen or you have wet clothes to transport)
• A good bottle sterilizer
• Formula mixer
• Bouncer
• Pack and play
• Diaper Genie
• Portable bottle warmer
• Jolly jumper
• A change pad (vs a change table)
• Sleep sacks. My kids LOVED being swaddled at first, then hated it and then it was the only thing that ensured a good night’s sleep for them and us. We went from the velcro swaddles to the zippidyzip slumber sacks to the no-sleeve sacks until they were almost two!

THE CRAP YOU DON’T NEED:

• Sleep sacks. For some they were a waste of money, for me (as mentioned above) they were mandatory.
• Portable bottle warmer. Personally boiling water did the trick for me. I just transported it in a thermos if I was going to be out and about.
• Breastfeeding pillow.
• For some it’s a waste, but for me and many others I know, it was worth it’s price in gold ten times over!
• Get one that folds down, or one that has actual seats. I was so set on the one that converts from wheels to a sleigh…what was I thinking?!?
• Wipe warmer
• Peepee teepee
• I used these to feed the twins in when I was done with breastfeeding, but for many they were a waste.
• Pack and play
• Bumbo
• Expensive diapers bags
• Receiving blankets (unless your baby has reflux then they’re a must)
• Diaper Genie
• Change table
• Baby bath tub. We used one for the girls but I know other moms who, when away from home, would just lean a cutting board up against the side of the kitchen sink and rest their baby on it while they washed them. Simple but effective.

Becoming a parent is different for everyone. No two babies are the same, even twins. This is just my personal opinion on items that I fell in love with in theory and then had no use for when it came time to use them.

*I haven’t been paid or hired by any of the companies listed above.*

It wasn’t a decision we took lightly. We knew that it would mean that money would be tight, we couldn’t ‘keep up with the Joneses’ and some sacrifices would have to be made. But it was the right move for us and we have no regrets.

I have nothing against being a working mom. Many of my friends manage to find a balance between work and mommy-hood and I have a huge respect for them. But for me, staying home was the right fit. It’s been a truly incredible experience being able to see our girls grow and change day by day, minute by minute.

As I mentioned though, we knew that financially it wouldn’t be easy.

Becoming a health and fitness coach has been a wonderful opportunity. It’s connected me to many like-minded women, I’ve helped them make some positive changes and I’ve also made some money doing it along the way. When it comes to groceries and gas money it’s really helped cover our bills. But every now and then life throws something at you, and although it’s not necessary to dip into savings to cover the expenses, a ‘little more’ would help make us feel a little more comfortable.

And this is where we are at right now.

My husband (bless him) said he would pick up some more work to make some extra money. To which I quickly responded NO. He’s already supporting our little family so much and I could never expect him to do that. So I decided to go back to work… In the evenings at a restaurant…back to my days as a server.

So now I get to be a stay at home mommy and coach during the day and a dining room server by night.

I’m tired and nervous yet excited and happy to be helping our family in yet another way.

Life is all about balance and finding a way to make it all work and fit. As tiring as it might be right now, I know once I get into a new groove everything will balance out.

I should’ve expected it, especially with the twins starting preschool, but it actually caught me off guard.

First came the earaches, then the stuffy noses, followed by coughing. It had been so long since the girls had been sick that I was left scrambling to remember what to do to help give them some relief. Did we have any children’s Advil? What about something to ease their coughs and sniffles? And where on earth had I left the medicine syringes?

Not to worry, after a few panicked moments it came back to me quickly; the vaporizers and homeopathic medicine, propping up pillows and saline spray.

We are now all restocked for the inevitable season of hacking, sneezing, sniffling and snot so I thought I would mention a couple of key items that we use this time of year:

To help boost their immune systems:

• Liquid multivitamins
• HMF probiotics

When they seem to be coming down with something:

• Elderberry syrup
• humidifier
• UV germ guardian (this is our secret weapon, it’s actually a UV light that kills germs and bacteria in the room. We have one in their bedroom and one in ours).

When they get hit with a cold:

• Children’s Advil
• 0-9 cough and cold daytime
• 0-9 cough and cold nighttime (this one is crucial as it contains a natural ingredient that helps them sleep)
• Helexia cough and cold
• baby Vicks
• vicks vapo pads
• Hydrasense spray (and if they won’t go for that then Boogie Wipes)

As you can see it takes quite an arsenal of supplies to help us get through this season of germs but each item plays an important roll. Up next, flu shots…that’s a blog unto itself.

*note: these are all items that I use from personal choice. I am not employed by or paid to promote them.*

Don’t get me wrong, all stages are awesome in their own rite, but some are definitely more ‘trying’ than others, and when caught in that moment, we often forget to appreciate it.

It wasn’t that long ago that I was writing a blog about how life with three year olds was one of the hardest stages we had gone through as parents. At that time it was so hard to gauge what would work one day to the next, what course of action to take, what type of discipline would be effective.

I look back on how we felt…just a couple of months back, and it feels like a lifetime ago.

The girls have done a complete 180 in terms of listening and understanding since then. They may not LIKE what they’re being told, but they now understand what is expected of them as well as what is and isn’t allowed and why. Sure they still try to fight us on things and they’re definitely vocal with their opinions, but it’s just… different.

I guess the best way to explain it, is that it’s not a two-tiered battle anymore; for a while not only were we telling them WHAT they could and couldn’t do, but we also had to teach them WHY as well as WHAT consequences came with their actions.

For example; we would have to tell them that they weren’t allowed to hit each other, that they were to use ‘gentle hands’. We would then have to explain why this was the rule, followed by what the consequence would be if they didn’t listen and then implement those rules if need be.

It was exhausting…for us and for them.

Now, they know the rules, they don’t always follow them, but when it comes to actions and consequences they don’t question it, and THAT makes a world of difference.

The cottage this year is a perfect example: Last year they listened but they would fight us about putting on their lifejackets or their shoes because they were just so excited to get outside and play (we are surrounded by water so wearing lifejackets is a rule in most areas around the cottage).

This year, they actually remind US of the rules, about the fact that they need their life jackets. They tattle on themselves for forgetting to put on their own shoes. They even had Grandma install a little hook on the railing to hang their lifejackets. And if they happen to forget a rule all is takes is a simple reminder and they say “Oh yes, yes.”

I don’t remember the exact details of our time spent cottaging last year, but I have to say that this year has been a very relaxing and fun experience with our girls. Now if only I could figure out a way to freeze time to keep them at this awesome age and stage just a little bit longer.

How was that more than three-years ago? How is this the 88th blog that I’ve had published? How are my babies starting pre-school in just a couple of weeks?

Backpacks and indoor shoes, schedules and permission slips. That is going to be our reality in a very short time.

I don’t think that I’m worried about them going, I’m excited as I think this will be a wonderful experience. We love the preschool that they’ll be going to and there will be a lot of familiar faces there.

I am a little apprehensive about how they’ll transition though; Ella loves structure but has a hard time reverting to new things and Zoey is very attached to me.

I reached out to my mommy friends to find out how they were feeling about their kiddos heading to preschool or kindergarten, and if they had any advice to help settle my nerves.

Their Advice:

• Play school: in the months leading up to the first day practice things like packing backpacks, writing and counting and even school bus safety.
• Explain what to expect: explain that mommy won’t be there but there will be a lot of other kids and nice teachers.
• Adjust sleep schedules ahead of time to get into a routine.
• Shop together: let them pick out their first day of school outfit or backpack.
• Let them help: let them help pack snacks and their lunch the night before.
• Volunteer: parents volunteer to go on field trips and get as involved as you can.
• Routine: morning and bedtime routines are important. Have them lay their clothes out for the next day
• Listen: try not to plan things right after school, they’ll be excited and have a lot to say, be sure to make time to listen.
• Don’t hang around: it’s going to be hard but try not to hang around on the first day. It will only make it harder (for you the parent).

The last one will be the hardest for me. I know I’m going to want to stick around and be a fly on the wall; watching to see if they stick together or go in opposite directions. To see if they cry or laugh. To see if they need me for one last hug. But I will try my hardest not to do any of these things, even though every part of my being will want to just run back in and scoop them up in my arms.

Good luck to all parents and kids for this upcoming school year! It’s an exciting and nerve-racking time for us all.