Many of our clients ask, “How do I teach my baby to self soothe?” not many ask, “Why do I need to teach my baby to self soothe?” and sometimes as obvious as the answer may seem, some parents really don’t know the answer.

Let’s first define what is self soothing. Self soothing is the ability for a baby to fall asleep with little to no help from parents. For babies over 4-6 months, this would include falling back to sleep over night when they wake from their sleep cycles.  Self soothing is not something that can be taught but parents can provide baby with the opportunity to teach himself. Given the right circumstances (such as age and size of baby) and the right sleep environment, babies can learn how to soothe themselves to sleep quite easily.

Self soothing is such an important skill for babies to have for both baby and parent. Bedtime and naptime routines are more enjoyable and relaxing. Baby learns how to transition from one sleep cycle to the next cycle with little disruption to their sleep. Baby will have positive experiences and associations to being in their room and in their bed. Babies actually have more solid stretches of sleep which foster so many important things like growth, behaviour and mood. Not to mention parents will have better sleeps which will allow them to be more rested and patient for quality wake times with their baby.  As your baby gets older, having a toddler and young child with fantastic sleep skills will be reflected in his own mental and physical development. As well, this allows parents to nurture independence which will prove extremely beneficial when parents have a new baby to care for as well.

I cannot stress enough how important it is to help foster self soothing in our children. A skill that will not only help them as babies, but will bring them right in to adulthood!

1. If travelling to a destination where there may be a time change, it’s a good idea to start moving your baby’s schedule towards the new time. Altering their schedule by half an hour each day over a week can be much easier than trying to change your baby’s schedule by 6 hours in one lump. Follow this same suggestion when returning home. You can find a more detailed description of schedule shifting HERE.

2. If flying or driving, always try and schedule your trip during baby’s nap or sleep times. A sleeping baby while travelling to your destination will make it a much more comfortable ride for baby and parents. If flying, try to breastfeed or bottle feed your baby on the ascent and descent of the flight to help prevent baby’s ears from popping.  For parents travelling alone or looking for extra help, there is an interesting company that links families with Nannies that may be on your flight, helping to make your flight less stressful. What will they come up with next? Check them out and let us know if you have used them. www.nannyintheclouds.com.

3. If flying, most aircrafts will allow parents with small babies and opportunity to sit in the seats with extra leg room so that you can have your baby sleeping cozy in their car seat. Make sure to inquire about this well in advance as these seats go quickly. Also, keep in mind, flight attendants and staff will do whatever they can for parents travelling with a baby. A happy quiet baby means happy passengers. If there is anything you need to make your baby more comfortable, don’t hesitate to ask.

4. If flying, you can wheel your stroller right up to the aircraft doors. The crew will then safely stow your stroller underneath the belly of the plane and have it right outside the aircraft door for when disembark.

5. If flying with a toddler, have 1 wrapped gift for every hour that you are flying. This can simply be dollar store items but make sure you wrap them and sometimes even twice. Not only will they love playing with the new toy for a while but you can waste some time as they excitedly unwrap it.

6. Once you get to your destination, if possible, the best situation is to have your baby sleeping In his own room. If this is not possible, then it’s important that you have a separate sleeping area where baby can’t see you. An ingenious suggestion passed on to me from a previous client is something I like to share with every family who travels. Pack 2 thumb tacks and a fish line which you can string across your bedroom and hang a sheet over to make a very simple but sufficient room divider.

7. Where ever your travels take you, try and keep your baby as close to schedule as possible. This doesn’t mean you have to go back to your room at nap time but you can allow your baby to nap at the proper time in his stroller or on a beach lounger with you.  Keeping to a schedule will prevent you from having an over tired or hungry baby on your trip.

8. Most hotel rooms will have cribs or playpens that you can ask to have brought to your room. This is a great idea but I often suggest for parents to bring their own sheets and bedding for baby as we have no idea what the sheets and bedding were washed with and could cause a rash or skin irritation.

9. Make sure that you bring lots of sunscreen, a hat and umbrella for baby and even a beach tent or dome in case you have no luck getting a chair.

10. Have fun! All in all if you are off schedule and everyone’s having a great time, that’s what’s important. Enjoy your time together and you can always get back on track when you get home.

Special thank you to my husband Joe Fazio who is a travel consultant with Travelonly and contributed to this article. www.jfazio.travelonly.com
Happy and safe travels!

Active teething is when your baby’s teeth are cutting through the layers of their gums. Once you see the teeth break through the skin, the pain will usually start to subside. A great way to tell if your baby is teething is to put your finger on his gums and rub for a minute. Babies are born with an instinct to suck so if your baby sucks on your finger, then he’s probably not feeling much pain from teething. However, if your baby tries to bite down or grind on your finger while it’s pressed on his gums, then he is probably actively teething and experiencing some discomfort.

If your baby is actively teething he may show signs of being agitated and grumpy and this is common for a teething baby and…this is common for any adult who is feeling discomfort! Your baby will drool much more than usual, sometimes causing little pimples or a rash on his face. Some parents will notice baby tugging at his ear or hair and commonly mistake this reaction as an ear infection or headache. Pain from teething can travel up the face to the ear and the head and cause baby to react by tugging and pulling in those locations. Some moms have noticed babies refuse feedings when teething and again this is common because baby is experiencing pain in his mouth and will often associate anything near his mouth as the reason for the pain

My favorite way of helping a baby through teething pain is by tossing a wet facecloth in the freezer and letting baby chew and bite down on the cloth for a few minutes.  This will not only help wear down the skin faster and allow the tooth to break through sooner, but it will also numb his gums to help relieve some pain. This is great to do before feeds and sleeps to help baby feel less pain. Teethers and traditional medicinal methods will also work but it’s important to always check with your doctor before offering any medication to ensure you are treating the right problem.

Usually teething happens for a few days and then will give you a break before the next tooth starts but sometimes you do get back to back teeth, and the teething process can take a few weeks. Comfort your baby, offer him relief and be understanding that his mood may be different until the pain subsides.

There are 3 major training methods that all use a form of cry-it-out. The first method is the Pick up/Put down method. This is when you pick up your baby every time they cry and put them down when they stop. The second method is gradual distinction. This is when you start off on the first night by being right at your babies side, patting and shushing him till he falls asleep. Then each night after that, you move further away from the crib and shushing progressively softer and less often. The third method is Guided Training. This is when you check on your baby for a few minutes and then leave, returning into the room at greater intervals to console your baby. An example of this is you would check on your baby in 5 minutes and then in 10 minutes etc.

Each method of training involves crying. Each method also involves the parents offering consoling at some point to their baby. The crying is NOT because your child is being neglected, starved or abandoned. They are simply being given the opportunity to figure out what your baby needs to figure out to fall asleep. Some babies may discover their fingers where as some may stare at a light on the ceiling. Allowing your baby the opportunity to learn how to soothe himself is vital to learning great sleep skills. If you are a parent that is not happy with your child’s sleep habits and feel that training of some sort is necessary for the happiness of your baby and your family, then it is important that you find the right method for you. If you are a parent that is content with your baby’s sleep habits, then there is no need for change as your family is happy.

In retrospect, it is important to understand that a crying baby doesn’t mean bad parents. This is quite an unfair statement. Allowing your baby to learn how to self soothe, which involves some crying, is a very hard thing for a parent to do. If you have a family member or friend who is currently sleep training their own baby, please remember this and offer them your support, not grief.

Babies hate the cold so you really need to limit how long they are feeling that cold. Make sure you have all your items close by. You should have a couple of warm towels (one parent can toss them in the dryer for a few minutes while the other parent is finishing the bath). Make sure to have your body wash, 2-3 wash clothes, a new diaper, change of clothes and a baby hat.

The best way to check the temperature of the water is to put your elbow in the water and you should not feel hot or cold. It should just feel nice. If you are not sure about the temperature you can always purchase a water  thermometer from your local safety store. The water level should be just high enough to cover your baby’s bottom and legs. Take one cloth and wash your baby’s face, start with the cleanest area (the eyes) and moving to the mouth, face years and neck. Then take a new clean cloth and wash your baby’s arms, tummy, legs and feet and then turn your baby over and wash her back and bottom. Don’t forget the love creases!

Once you have rinsed offer your baby, quickly place her in the warm towel, dry her off and put a clean diaper on her. Wrap her back up in the towel and with a clean cloth you can wash her hair using warm tap water (be sure to check the temperature of the water before using it on baby). Using the cloth to wash her hair will help  remove any dry skin and rinsing by squeezing warm water from the cloth over baby’s head will help keep water out of her eyes. Now quickly dry her head, put your favorite baby hat on her head to help keep her warm and get her dressed!

The trick is doing her head last so it is not cold throughout the entire bath and also trying to be fairly quick. Your baby is being cleaned at every diaper change and doesn’t need a scrub down so a bath should really only  be about 20 minutes or so.

Follow these tips and bath time will be filled with smiles and laughter…and your baby will love it to!

With three small babies and a husband who worked incredible hours (which seems to be the story for many new families these days), I was the only care provider in my home. With little to no support all the responsibilities laid on my tired little shoulders. I truly felt that I had to be supermom. There was always a little person needing to be fed, changed and loved. And the never ending chores that seemed to be piling up around me kept getting bigger and bigger.

I look back at that time and wish I had the network of moms that we now have on the big World Wide Web. Only 11 years ago, internet was still dial up and online surfing was a luxury not the necessity that it is today. I love that parents can mingle, network and find support without even leaving their homes. Something I wish I had when my girls were tiny.

As a mother of three children and a Baby Parenting Coach, I understand the challenges new parents face every day. From bringing home your new baby to interacting with your toddler, every new age has its new challenges. And just when you think its about to get better, it just gets different! I have a dedicated passion for helping and supporting other new parents. Let me answer the questions that I wish I had asked 12 years ago. Everything from bathing and feeding your new baby to encouraging great sleep habits and using sign language as a great way to promote infant and toddler speech. After all, its really does take a village to raise a baby!

Have a question for Debbie? E-mail her.