Not Quite Ready

My bosses have been extremely supportive and understanding throughout my entire pregnancy as well as once the twins were born.

When I told them that I had to leave work early due to bed rest, they had my best interests in mind. When I asked them to file paperwork to HR there were no hassles. So when the end of my maternity leave was nearing I shouldn’t have been so nervous.

You see, after many discussions my husband and I decided that it would be best for our family if I asked for an extended unpaid leave of absence to give me more time with the twins. Between the two of us, I was the more logical choice for a leave of absence once we crunched the numbers.

I was so nervous when the time came to ask my bosses. They could say no and then I’d be left in a tough position, but yet again, they completely supported my decision and handled the transition with ease.

There isn’t just one thing in particular that I’m afraid of missing, there’s so many things I’m just not ready to say goodbye to: Our relaxed, playful mornings in our pi’s, being the one there to teach them different words, watching them try their hardest to take their first steps, seeing their excitement as they stand at the big bay window watching their daddy come home. Maybe I’m being selfish, but there are just too many things that I’m not ready to let go of.

Not to mention the cost of daycare! Even with a discount for two babies, home daycare in our area (the GTA) will cost close to $25,000 a year! That’s a lot of money for anyone to spend.

I now have until the end of the year to enjoy watching our girls grow and develop and hit their little milestones. Being preemies, they’re smaller and sometimes a little behind in some areas. Now I can be there for all of their preemie screenings and their paediatrician follow up appointments without having to worry about scheduling conflicts. When they catch a cold I don’t have to worry about using my sick days to be there to wipe their little runny noses. I can just be there.

I know that I fall into the minority in this category. Most mommies have to, or choose to return to work, sometimes even before the year is up. To those mommies; I salute you.  I give you all of the credit in the world for your strength. Sometimes we don’t have a choice and sometimes going back is the best thing for our families. For me, staying home was right for us.  Between bed rest during pregnancy, my sick leave while the girls were in the NICU, maternity/parental leave and now my unpaid leave of absence I will have been off work for two years once all is said and done and I consider myself extremely fortunate. Although it’s been a bit of a bumpy ride, having support from work, family and friends have made this journey a wonderful experience