After the kids went back to school my daughter and I were talking before she went to bed and I asked her what she wrote in her journal about her Christmas break. She looked at me and said, “I wrote that we went to Niagara Falls.” I was shocked and reminded her that we didn’t go there. She was upset and replied, “Well, Mommy, we didn’t do anything and that was boring!”  I then reminded her that we went skating and had a sleepover with all of her cousins. She replied, “That was boring.”

My question to fellow parents is should I punish her for not being honest, or should I just chalk it up to creative writing?
What would you do?

It is a blast, but the best part is that we get to sleep in with no kids in our beds. We wake up in the morning and we drive over the boarder to do a little shopping. After we shop ’til we drop we have dinner at the Olive Garden. This is some serious girl time.

What’s the problem you ask? I feel super guilty for spending the money. I am not working and have not worked for a long time. I had lunch with another girlfriend afterwards and she was feeling guilty as well. She just went back to work from her maternity leave so at least she has money coming in now. I do not.

This makes me feel even worse. I feel so bad that my husband is working 12 hour days to make ends meet. I went and spent a good portion of his pay cheque on one weekend. I spoke to my good friend Sandy and she told me I was being silly. I spoke to my husband who told me the same thing.

I still can’t shake the guilt. So tell me, am I crazy?

We just got their report cards and Zoe’s teacher wants to see us. My husband went into blame mode. He told me that since I’m home with her all day, I need to work with her more. Then he said the worse thing ever: “You have really dropped the ball with her”. What the hell does that mean?

Then I heard the second worst thing: “You worked more with Georgia”. Well, he is in the dog house for that one. I did not do that at all. I treat both of my kids the same, so I yelled at him.

I went to bed that night and closed my eyes to have a semi sleep before Zoe woke me up at 3am — then I couldn’t sleep. I started to think:

“Do I treat them differently?”

“Did I drop the ball?”

“Am I the worse mother ever?”

“Will Zoe be last in her class?”

The next day, on no sleep, I spoke to her teacher — who also taught Georgia. She told me not to worry and that every kid is different. She said that it takes some kids longer than others and that Zoe is reading at level 1, which is good.

Later that night I told dear husband to shut his big mouth.

I am the opposite of my mother. It’s what I strive to be. I am always with my kids and I tell them that I love them every day. When my daughter became sick, I needed my mother the most. She did not step up to the plate. She only visited my daughter once for the entire time she was in the hospital.

When we were told to go to the United States for surgery she didn’t come with us, nor did she visit. She didn’t even call to see how her granddaughter was doing. She did nothing.

Facebook is both good and bad. While my daughter was in ICU with water in her lungs, I was able to see pictures of my mother dancing at my cousins wedding. I must say that I am very angry with her. That day I decided never to speak to her or see her again. Now I don’t have Easter, Christmas or Thanksgiving with my mother.

I wanted to write this because I hate it when people say, “You should speak to your mother no matter what. You only have one mother and she must love you.” I’m hoping that this sheds some light on my situation and I want to ask people to please stop saying this to me. You don’t know what it’s like walking in my shoes with a mother like mine.

If you saw my daughter you wouldn’t have known any different. She acted just like a normal five year old. She would run around like crazy and not get tired. She had normal eating habits. She looked fine. She had something very rare and wrong with her heart. If we didn’t take her blood pressure at the doctor that day she would have died within a year. We were sent to the greatest hospital in Ann Arbor, Michigan. She had her heart surgery in August.

It has now been six months and she is getting better everyday. I would like to thank everyone for the kind thoughts and prayers. If you could do one more thing for me… take your children to their physical every year.

I haven’t thought about this in long time until my girlfriend Marisa moved her son to a new school and called to tell me about the bully mothers at the new school. How they don’t talk to anyone but each other and they are all involved in the school. I laughed and told her about my experience. I gave up trying to be nice and talk to all of the mothers. I even stopped smiling and say good morning; it was not worth my time. I am lucky to have a great group of friends but my high school days are over and I don’t care for the mean girls.

I was rushed down to Sick Kids where my life changed forever. I still can’t talk about it without crying. I will blog about it when I can.

I just wanted to thank everyone for praying for Georgia. We are still on this crazy ride, and she will be for the rest of her life.

There is nothing harder than having a sick kid, but it makes life harder when you can’t even pay for the hotel. If you can, please give money to Sick Kids and Ronald McDonald Houses.

Remember to enjoy your children every day.

I walk up to her, tell her and hand over the EpiPen. I see the look in her eye. I have seen it many times before. Just like when I told a mother that she could not serve peanut butter sandwiches at her daughter’s tea party the night before the party (she had to remake a bunch of sandwiches). The look of “oh no not one of them”.

Yes, I am one of the annoying mothers whose child is making lunchtime hard for everyone. I am so sorry that your child can’t have a peanut butter sandwich for lunch. I understand that he only eats peanut butter, but if my daughter just touches it she will get hives, her eyes will swell shut and her throat will close up.

We then have to give her a needle that makes her heart beat super duper fast. Then the next time she has one, the dose may have to be stronger. If the ambulance doesn’t come fast enough or someone doesn’t use the EpiPen fast enough or properly, she might die. So, sorry lady if your child goes hungry for an afternoon, but I really want my daughter to live.

I love peanut butter and my second favourite is Nutella – I used to eat it all the time. I was eating it when my daughter touched it and both her eyes swelled shut and we were at the hospital all night.

I really miss it. Sometimes when I am at the grocery store I daydream that I open the jar of PB and lick it right there in aisle five. I don’t enjoy being a pain in the ass at parties; “Please only bring peanut free cakes”. Trust me I hate it as well. I hate reading all the labels on products. Plus all the big companies cover themselves and always add “may contain traces of nuts”.

I can’t have any of my favourite things. It was really hard to break up with Jos. Louis. Worst of all I have not lost a single pound. Want to know what my new favourite thing is? My daughter. The bottom line is I will do everything in my power to keep my daughter safe. Sorry everyone no peanuts near us.

When I went back to work after my first maternity leave with Georgia she would wake up in the middle of the night to play with me and she would sleep all day at daycare. The daycare workers loved her because she would sleep. I was a zombie at work.

My second daughter Zoe would not sleep unless she was held all night. She was a preemie and spent her first few months in an incubator. When I brought her home I felt so guilty that I held her all the time (that is another story). I guess it is my fault because she always wanted to be in my arms (please don’t send me emails about this, I know it is my fault).

I know that some parents love to put their kids down for the night. I hate it, because I know that my kids are not going to sleep. They each have a room, but they want to sleep together. I read them a book and then I kiss them goodnight. They then fight, and then want to read more books before they fall asleep.

I go to bed and mostly wake up to find Zoe in my bed. A couple of hours later Georgia is also in my bed. Then I move into Georgia’s room because there is no room for me in my own bed. Then Zoe will get up again and come to find me. Inevitably, I end up in Zoe’s bed.

When it is time for bed at our house, I shout out, “OK everyone lets go play musical beds!”

I was starting to panic because I had to take my 3 year-old to her second day of preschool. Sure enough I woke up at 7am and I was sick. Without getting into major detail I was stuck in the washroom. My husband could not drive her so I drove on the QEW with a plastic bag on my lap.

I could not let my 3 year-old down because she was super excited about preschool. I got home and went back to bed while my 5 year-old is asking for everything under the sun.

Two hours later I am back on the road to pick up 3 year-old from preschool. Then it is time to take 5 year-old to school. I am getting everything ready but I have a headache and I have the cold sweats. I drop her off and go back to bed.

Now the 3 year-old wants to play and have three different snacks.

I am just waiting for my husband. He finally appears and I have never been so happy to see him. I don’t say a word I just crawl up the stairs straight into bed. He starts talking to me about how I am feeling and I don’t answer.

He says, “Wow you have not been this sick in a long time”. I told him to get out of the room before I said something very rude. He tells me to go to the doctor’s office, but I am too tired to move.

I sleep for the next 24 hours. My poor husband had to call in and did not go to work (sarcasm). I decide to go to visit the doctor the next day and I’m diagnosed with a bad case of strep throat. She even called in the student to take a look at my throat. I love when they do that.

I go back home but I can’t help but look around the house. Swiss Chalet from last night is on the table. Toys are in every room of the house.

In our house we have a rule that all toys stay in the playroom (I know everyone is rolling their eyes but I am trying). I just went back up the stairs and back to bed.

Day three and husband must go back to work. I have to get up even though I am still sick.

My point to this blog is that it sucks to be a sick stay at home mom. The kids don’t understand and husband can only do one thing at a time. He can only watch the children, not clean the house.

I must tell everyone that it took me a week to catch up on the housework. The laundry alone was killer. I wish I had a mother that would help me. That’s another story.